Frowning even more, I pulled my long, dark hair out of its ponytail and finger-combed through it until it looked smoother. I pulled it back up and tied it into a fresh ponytail, and then decided to take it a step further and twist it into a bun, tucking the end back through the elastic. At least the wind wouldn’t completely obliterate it now. I pinched my cheeks for good measure, hoping to simulate a natural blush, then headed back down stairs to join everyone.
As I opened the back door from the kitchen, I noticed that Adam, Rachel, and my mother had joined Logan and my father out on the patio. Rachel was setting out her cheese board while Adam handed out old fashions from a tray. Logan had gotten to his feet to give my mother another hug, and my father was beaming from the head of the table, watching us all come together.
I grabbed a drink from Adam and took a sip, feeling the burn of the bourbon as it slid down my throat. At least the liquor would help warm us up against the chill in the air. “Alright, what are the teams?” I asked.
“Rachel and I against you and Logan.”
Just then I felt a warm hand cover my shoulder as a voice whispered in my ear. “We’re going to kick their asses.”
Goosebumps manifested all over my body as I shivered. I turned to look at Logan who was smiling down at me. All evidence of his previous discomfort with me seemed to have been forgotten, or at least he’d stuffed it deep down inside as a courtesy.
The smile he gave me now was almost paralyzing.
I did my best to return a joyful expression. “I wouldn’t expect anything less.” I held my glass out to clink against his in cheers as a test of the waters, and was delighted when he lifted his as well.
Adam announced that we’d play first to twelve, and then picked up the black bocce ball bag as the four of us made our way out to the snow-covered lawn, leaving my parents to spectate. Adam and Rachel took the set of dark red balls while Logan and I took the dark green ones. Rachel, who’d never played before, got first dibs at tossing the tiny pink ball, landing it about twenty feet away from where we stood.
There was about three inches of snow on the ground from the last snowfall a few weeks ago—a heavy storm that had only hit the high country—so the only mark we had was the hole the ball had made.
Logan handed me two of the heavy green balls, giving me the first turn. “Show her how it’s done, Mills,” he murmured. If that weren’t enough to send a burst of electricity through my body, the wink he threw me certainly was.
Mills. I hadn’t heard him call me that in a long, long time. And it felt so good to hear it. Heat rose to my face as I smiled back at him, suddenly feeling enraptured by his gaze. His black shirt made the glow of his honey eyes brighter in the bending sunlight. He was still so beautiful.
It took everything I could muster to tear my eyes away, knowing that Adam and Rachel were waiting for me to throw my turn. I turned to where Rachel had thrown the jack and tossed the first ball, landing about six inches in front of where it lay. Only the round peak of the top of the ball was showing through the snow.
“Nice,” Logan encouraged from behind me, and I felt a thrill from his praise.
When I tossed my second ball and got about an inch closer, I couldn’t help looking back at Logan. What I saw was something that resembled appreciation in his smile. “Your turn.”
He nodded his head and stepped up to throw. With near perfect aim, he tossed both of his balls into each of mine, a soft “clink” sounding as they each made impact, pushing them closer to the jack. I would bet actual money that he’d pushed my balls against the jack in the snow, which would earn us extra points as long as Adam and Rachel weren’t able to knock them all away.
“Wow,” Adam said, shaking his head lightly. “Lucky first turn for both of you.” He handed Rachel two of the red balls, signaling for her to throw first.
She stepped forward to throw each turn, coming up about a foot short each time. “Okay,” she said, giggling. “I’m obviously not going to be good at this.” She turned to look at Adam and pointed a finger in his direction. “You picked the wrong partner, babe.”
Adam smiled back at her. “Oh no, you could throw your balls in the opposite direction of where we’re playing and I would still pick you as my partner.” She blushed at that.
He leaned down to give her a quick kiss before he stepped up to take his turn. His first ball smacked the side of one of Logan’s balls, pushing it further into mine. “Damn,” he let out.
“Maybe if you weren’t so busy flirting, you’d be more successful,” Logan chimed from where he leaned against a tree, a smirk on his face. “Then again”—he flicked his eyes to me—“Millie has us in a strong position to win. I’m not sure you’ll be able to change that now.”
My heart did a somersault in my chest.
“Shut up, Logan,” Adam replied as he concentrated on his next throw. He swung his arm underhand and threw his second ball up into the air . . . and it landed about four inches to the left of ours. He threw his hands up in the air in defeat. “Alright, you guys had a lucky first round.”
All four of us made our way over to assess, and found that Logan had indeed pushed both of my balls against the jack, earning us one extra point each. “If I have my math right, Adam, we already have six points.” Logan’s smug expression was contagious as I felt myself smile in response. As he passed me, whispered, “It’s you and me, Mills,” sending a chill along my neck where his words lingered.
I just about fainted on the spot.
As it turned out,Logan and I won the game in just four rounds. Adam and Rachel scored points in the third, but we ultimately prevailed.
It was a rush, the thrill of it. The forgetting of the past. The falling right back into place. Within hours of being here, Breckenridge had transformed the way Logan looked at me from discomfort and indifference to familiar joy and appreciation, and I could almost kiss the ground in thanks. Maybe there was hope for our friendship, after all.
My parents had ordered pizza from town, and we all gathered around the new poker table in the basement as we ate way too many slices and drank way too many cocktails. We played Texas Hold’em, blackjack, hearts, and then before I knew it my mother had pulled out the box of Cards Against Humanity.
The woodburning stove in the corner of the room—along with the continued pouring of bourbon—kept us all warm and comfortable as we spent much-needed time together as a family, often laughing so hard that we cried. Adam had even snorted his cocktail out of his nose, causing Rachel to choke on hers.
I felt more at ease than I had in months. I was in my most favorite place in the world with the people who mattered most to me, and it was all too easy to forget about life’s problems. So what if I was single again, starting over with love? So what if I had to find a place to live by myself, and work through ensuring that I could manage all of the bills on my own? I had more than enough all around me, and starting over was an opportunity to create a life for myself that felt more likethis.
