It didn’t feel new or awkward the way it should have. There was no uncertainty, no tentative learning curve. It was familiar in a way that defied logic—as if our bodies had already memorized each other in another lifetime spent doing exactly this, and it was just now crashing through us, full force.
Her hands slid up, one wrapping around the back of my neck, the other framing my jaw. Her touch was greedy. She kissed melike she didn’t know if she’d ever get to again, and I kissed her like I’d never let her stop.
Her mouth was so warm, so soft, and so fucking responsive. When I bit her bottom lip and tugged, her hips jerked, pressing harder into mine.
I slid one hand down to her waist and hiked my knee up between her legs. She gasped, and then she kissed me harder. Sloppier. Hungrier.
But even still, I needed her closer. If I didn’t hold her, she’d vanish and take whatever this was with her.
“This is fake, right?” she murmured against my lips. “Tell me this is us pretending.”
I pulled back just enough to meet her eyes.
“Wish I could,” I said. “Turns out, I’m fucking terrible at pretending.”
Then, I kissed her again, and I forgot how to focus on anything else. She was everywhere all at once, stealing my breath and whatever sanity I had left. And fuck, maybe I didn’t want to breathe if it meant letting her go.
“God,” I whispered against her lips. “Ellie…”
I pushed my knee up again as my hands shot to her ass. Her moan was instant, muffled by my mouth. Fuck, I felt it everywhere.
“Ellie baby…”
“I need—” she started, breathless, before kissing me again. “I can’t. Sawyer, I need more.”
“Tell me to stop.”
She kissed me.
“Tell me to back away.”
Her nails dug into my shoulder, her mouth trailing down my neck, open and wet and desperate.
“Say the word, Ellie. I swear?—”
“Don’t you dare,” she whispered, wrecked and breathless and mine. “Please, just…don’t stop.”
I groaned, hands everywhere: spanning the dip of her back, splaying across her ribs, tracing her spine like I was relearning a body I somehow already knew.
Another flash in the distance.
Another reminder we were in public.
I didn’t give a single fuck. All I could think about now was getting her alone.
THIRTY-THREE
Sawyer
After the gala,Ben drove us back in silence—eyes forward, hands on the wheel, pretending he didn't know what had happened.
But he knew. It was his job to know everything. Why else would we be leaving a New Year's gala before midnight?
I kept my hand on her leg during the drive, drawing slow circles over her dress, letting my fingers climb higher each time. She shifted, squeezing her thighs together. I gripped tighter—just enough to let her know I noticed.
By the time we pulled up to my place, I was hanging on by a thread.
I unlocked the front door and held it open. Ellie walked in slowly and stopped just inside, arms crossed, mouth pulled into a frown. I could practically hear her freaking out.
