I’m halfway here, caught between the fall and the fear
You’re the risk I want, though I can’t make it clear
My heart’s in overdrive, and I don’t know the plan
I’m scared to jump, but I want to, hand in hand
I’m halfway there, and it’s all unscripted
Wild and unknown, but I don’t want to miss it
The last note faded, and the crowd erupted much louder than I anticipated. I stood there for a moment, letting the noise wash over me, raw in a way I hadn’t dared to be in years.
I was still Ellie Miles. Still me.
For a long time, it felt like I could never fully reconcile the two sides. Now, no matter what came next, I knew I could.
I lifted the guitar from my shoulder and smiled, a real one this time.
“Thank you,” I said, my voice shaking. “That song…it’s everything I couldn’t say before. It’s about standing on the edge of who you are and who you want to be. Sometimes, the hardest part isn’t jumping. It’s deciding you want to.”
The crowd cheered again.
After the encore, I finally left the stage.
Backstage was a blur of voices, lights, and the rush of adrenaline. I sank down on the edge of the dressing room couch.
Rachel opened the door, coming crashing in.
“Ellie!” She ran over to sit next to me and gave me a hug. “I’m so fucking proud of you. That was beautiful.”
“Thanks. Sorry, I went…a little off script there.”
“It’s okay. The crowd loved it, and I could tell you did too.”
“I did.”
And I wonder if Sawyer would too.
After I got back to the hotel, I showered, pulled on an old shirt, and climbed into bed. Then, I called my mom. She picked up right away.
“Hey, sweetie,” she said.
“Hi.”
“It’s late there, yeah?” she asked.
I glanced at my phone. “One in the morning.”
“Can’t sleep?”
“You could say that.”
“What’s going on?” she asked.
I hesitated. “Sawyer.”
She paused. “Oh no. What did you do?”
