“To save you!” He raises his voice.
I shake my head.
“You were physically harming yourself. Zara, what did you expect of me?” He stands and throws his arms up as his gaze goes directly to my thigh. “I was nineteen, trying to be there for you but then struggling to be there for Kane. He was always drunk, and then you cut yourself.” He pats his chest. “I was drowning... failing everyone around me. I thought I wasn’t enough for you... I couldn’t be the person you needed.”
My. Heart. Cracks.
I hurl myself at him, looping my arms around his stiff body. “You were exactly what I needed! You always have been.” His body softens and he puts his arms around my waist.
I’m in a constant state of pushing him away and pulling him closer again. I inch back. Our gazes lock, my voice tight as I speak. “I thought you broke up with me because you didn’t want me.”
“It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I nearly couldn’t go through with it.” He chuckles, but there’s no humor in it. “I knew you were in pain, and I’m sorry for hurting you, but you needed help. You’re still cutting...”
There was no judgment, just sadness.
I pause, thinking about how to answer him, then clear my throat as my heart constricts. I rub my thumb over the scars on my thigh. “They are my battle scars of depression... from the deep sadness of losing Misty. Every cut is a year of guilt and shame, like a million what-if scenarios ran through my brain. ‘What if I had stayed home with her? Would she still have left? Should I have made her go to the doctor’s earlier?’ I could see all the shrinks in the world and understand why I do it and that it wasn’t my fault, but it’s not enough. It doesn’t take the pain away.”
He hugs me tighter and his fingers touch my arm in a soothing motion. “I love you. Never doubt that.”
A rush of warmth fills my chest. I’ll never get sick of him telling me that. He loves me, even knowing how damaged and broken I am.
“I love you too,” I reply, my voice thick with emotion.
He nuzzles my neck and takes a deep breath, giving me goose bumps. “I’m obsessed with your perfume,” he says in a raspy voice.
A smile tugs at the corner of my lips. “I’m going to go see Ava and Elena.”
His shoulders fall.
I frown. “What’s wrong?”
“I want to spend time with you without all this other bullshit.”
I stand. “I hope that time will be soon.” I bend, put my hand in his, and tug him to his feet.
We walk through the hallway and down the stairs. Knox turns and walks toward the computer room as I search for Elena and Ava. They’re by the pool table.
Axle leans close to Elena. “You have to bend more,” he says. “Keep the cue near your waist... your waist,” he reiterates. “Elena! Where’s your waist?” His patience is gone.
Cash is suppressing a laugh.
Ava sees me and rushes over. Elena places the cue on the pool table. “Don’t you speak to me like that. I’m not playing anymore,” she mutters with her head held high. She sees me, her eyes widen, and she walks over.
“Oh, c’mon, baaaabe,” Axle says. “Don’t be like that!”
She peers over at him with narrowed eyes. “No! Don’tyoube like that!”
When Axle sees me, he tilts his head in greeting. “Good to have you back.”
“Thank you!” I reply, noting the relief I feel being back here.
“Hey, Zara,” Cash says in a friendly tone.
I give him a small smile.
Rage saunters in with a case of beer on his shoulder and walks to the bar.
“Did you get my wine?” Elena calls out to him.
