“Every person in my life who I was close to was suffering. I joined the military because I wanted to do something worthwhile, so I could be proud of something in my life because I felt like I was a failure from not being able to help you or Kane.
“When I came home during my vacation, I spied on you and saw you doing better... much better without me. Kane wasn’t drinking as much either. He put all his energy into helping Dad with the casino. I thought it wouldn’t matter as much if I did specialize in something dangerous. I wasn’t going to have much of an impact if I died compared to someone else with a big family or a wife and children.”
I turn in his arms and a sob breaks through. Tears flood my face. “How could you?” Pain echoes in my voice. “I wouldn’t survive losing you too...”
He leans over and places a lingering tender kiss on my temple. “Shh... I’m still here with you.”
After my tears dry, I speak. “It’s been hard without you and Misty.”
He squeezes me tighter. “It’s been hard without you too.”
His voice throbs with emotion.
“I still listen to Misty’s voicemail. I taped it. What I would give to hear her laugh again or listen to her being feisty with Kane.”
There’s a brief silence before he speaks.
“I tried... My mom had a private investigator. Kane and I called every place we could think of that Misty visited.”
I release my breath. “I know... everyone tried.”
He nuzzles his nose into my hair and into my neck. My eyes get heavy, and I drift off.
I wake up,blinking in a dark room, to see my phone ringing. Knox’s arm is still firmly around me. I stretch over to the side table, grasp the device, look at the screen, and bring it to my ear.
“Hello.”
“Hey, I was calling to check up on you. How are you feeling?”
“I’m okay. Sorry, Mom, I didn’t mean to upset you. I wish I could have stayed with you and Dad, but it all became too much.”
“We understand. There’s no need for an apology. How have you settled in there?”
“The club said I could stay for as long as I need to. I’ve met some women here, and they’ve been warm and welcoming. They offered to help at the vigil as well.”
She sniffles through the phone. “That’s so very kind of them, and it’s a relief that you are okay with staying there. I wasn’t sure how you would do, but they sound like a good bunch of people.”
“They are. What time did you want me at the vigil again?”
“I’d like you to be there an hour early to ensure everything is prepared.”
I pause. “I’ll meet you there at six, then.”
“Great. Well, I’ll let you go. If you need anything, I’m a phone call away.”
“Thanks, Mom. Bye.”
“How’s your mom?” Knox asks, his voice thick with sleep.
“I think she was worried about me.” I grab his arm and place it on him so I can sit up and shuffle my back against the wall.
He abruptly sits up, then puts his legs over the bed, turning his back to me.
It stings, but it’s for the best. There’s so much going on, I can’t handle any more.
Someone knocks on the door.
“Dinner is ready,” Ava says.
