“I need you here.” Mom’s voice is soft, with an undertone of pleading and sadness.
I close my eyes briefly. No matter how much pain I’m going to be in, I can’t leave Mom to go through that without me. We should show a united front. It’s been around nine years since I’ve been home. It’s about time I faced the past. I’m surrounded by courageous women at the shelter every day.
“I’ll make it work. I’ll be there.”
“Oh, thank God! I’d love for you to come tomorrow.”
“That is really short notice.” The pitch of my voice rises.
“You never go anywhere. Wouldn’t you have leave available? I don’t want you to stay one day and leave the next. You haven’t been home since you left for the treatment center.”
That annoying guilty feeling strikes again. I haven’t been home in a long time for good reasons, because that house is full of memories and those memories are a painful reminder of everything I no longer have.
“I can only ask my boss. I’ll get back to you when I get a response.”
“Hmm... maybe you should give me her number? I’ll tell her how important it is that you take some leave.”
My eyes widen. “No, Mom. I’m not a child anymore.”
“You’re still my baby!”
“I’ll try my absolute best.”
“I’m happy to hear that. Ask for at least a week off and let me know when you will be coming so I can make sure your bed has fresh sheets.”
I cringe at the thought of being there for one week. “Yes, I will. Bye.”
I phone my boss, who gives me today and the rest of the week off. She understands my circumstances, as I’ve told her about my past.
Anxiety creeps up on me once my bags are packed, and my heart pounds faster in my chest. My fingers tingle with nervousness. I climb into the car and start the ignition. The engine purrs to life.
I write a quick message to Mom, telling her I’m on my way. Afterward, I flick through my contacts. I can’t bring myself to contact Knox, so I find Kane’s contact instead. My finger hovers over the call button. I take a second before pressing it.
Kane answers on the second ring. “Oh, look, it’s the friend who never called me back.”
Wincing, I say, “I’m sorry.”
There’s nothing else I can say. After I finished up at the treatment center, I stayed in the same city so that I could still attend my appointments with my counselor and specialists. Once that was over, I remained in the city for good, having stopped taking everyone’s calls except for Mom and Dad. I shut everyone out. As selfish as it was, I couldn’t go back—and I didn’t want to. It wouldn’t be the same without Misty and Knox.
“Tsk, tsk,” Kane counters, lightening the mood.
“Well, I’m on my way to Crown Village now.”
“Really?” he asks, raising his voice.
“Yes. Mom wants me there.”
“So they’re going ahead with the vigil? It’s fucking bullshit. What’s the use? Misty’s not going to wait ten years to suddenly reappear. If she wanted to return, she would have a long time ago.”
I gape at his anger, but I also don’t know what to say to him. “I’m leaving now, so I’ll get home around seven tonight. Did you want to get together tomorrow?”
“What about Dad’s for dinner? Chinese food, like we used to do.”
My heart clenches. I’ve missed all of them so much. “Sounds good,” I reply, blinking back tears.
“How long are you staying for?”
“A week. I might stay longer if Mom needs me.”
