“I am,” I reply, feeling the buzz of the wine.
“Dinner was...” Demon forms a chef’s kiss with his fingers.
I get ready to reply, but loud motorcycles thunder up the road. Conan barks twice, then gets up out of his kennel and moves toward the side of the house.
I jump to my feet. “Conan.” He stops and glances back at me. “Come here.” He looks forward again and barks twice, as if he’s not happy with my instructions, then makes his way over and stands beside me. “Good boy!” I pat the top of his head.
“Did you want any more wine?” Elena asks.
I raise my hand to her. “No more for me,” I say through a yawn. “I’m ready for bed.”
Axle puts his arms around Elena and kisses the top of her head. “We’re going to bed too,” he says with a cheeky wink. Elena giggles.
A familiar group of men and one woman walk beside the clubhouse and toward us. “Hey!” the president of the Kings of Chaos MC yells out to the people playing poker.
Viper glances and waves back. “Hey, man. Go grab a beer, and you can play next round.”
“You three should go to bed now.”
I peer back at Reaper because the lightness in his voice has gone. He looks at Axle and gestures his head toward me.
Axle steps closer. “I’ll walk you up to your room.”
More motorcycles echo in the air.
When the group gets closer, Conan barks, and it’s deeper than it was before. It wasn’t an “I’m going to rip your throat out” bark, but it was a warning.
“Demon, tie the dog up to its kennel.”
Reaper’s gaze hardens at me, Axle, and Elena. “I need you three gonenow,” Reaper commands.
His cold voice makes my breath seize. I snap back to my previous home, with Beau screaming at me. Tears line my eyes, and my throat tightens, forcing me to run past Axle and my sister. I faintly hear “Ava... Fuck!” but I can’t look back. All I can do is run. My heart is slamming against my chest as I move through the house. When I reach the stairs, I grab the railing and race up as the walls feel like they’re caving in.
As soon as I reach my room, I take two steps in, slam the door, and lock it. I hop into bed and cuddle the pillow as I try to catch my breath, though the tears fall hard and fast.
“Ava, are you all right?” asks Elena. The doorknob jiggles. “Let me in.”
“I’m good,” I croak out.
She sighs. “No, you’re not. Please—”
“I am. Reaper’s stern voice just... I don’t know—triggered me, I guess.”
My stomach drops from the way I acted in front of everyone. Angrily, I wipe the tears from my eyes. Beau’s presence still lingers. It took one trigger for me to be back in that house, back with Beau, and, suddenly, my world came crashing down.
I sniffle and wipe my eyes again. “I’m tired. Tomorrow, we can talk.”
There’s a brief silence.
“Love you,” Elena says, sadness tainting her voice.
She wants to help, but I don’t want to talk to her about it. She doesn’t understand what I’m going through, and I don’t want pity.
“Love you, too,” I reply.
I lie there with my mind going one hundred miles an hour. My jaw clenches as I wonder how long I will suffer. Every day without him, I’m feeling better, but now it’s like I’ve taken two steps back. I thought if I moved and started fresh that I would be free of him and I could be me again.
The legalities are not on my mind. He can keep the house and everything in it. All I want is my life back and to smile again. I don’t want to cower when he’s around and suffer in silence while putting on a fake smile for everyone else.
