Her voice is soft. “It’s perfect.”
It wasn’t hard to spiral down the baby-shopping rabbit hole once I started, and when I discovered the ocean-themed rugs and wall decor, I knew it would be perfect.
“We can change literally everything if you want though. As much as I want to be involved and support you, I don’t want to cross the line.”
Her hands wrap around my forearms, and she nestles backward into my embrace. “I don’t want to change a thing.”
My heart explodes, as I know she loves it as much as I do.
“I know that we haven’t talked much about the future and everything coming next, but I want you to know that this house is just as much yours as it is mine.” I press my lips to the top of her head again. “There will always be an empty spot in my bed in the shape of you.”
“And I plan on filling it.” She sniffles and takes a shaky breath. “Carly would’ve loved this.”
An ache—that raw and agonizing pain that lives inside of everyone who’s experienced grief—throbs in my chest. “Yeah.” My voice breaks. “She would’ve.”
Carly loved life, everything and everyone in it. She would have been over the moon to find out Lainey was pregnant and that we were together. If she can somehow look upon us, I hope she sees that we finally found one another again.
The pile of toys, plushies, and books I also ordered sit, piled in the corner. I know she appreciates the gesture, but I didn’t want to take away the memory of decorating or setting up the nursery. I want us to do that together, if she’ll have me.
She stretches her neck side to side, and I shift my hands to her traps, massaging them gently. Relaxing into my touch, she sighs, nearly moaning as I work the tension out of her neck and shoulders.
“Come on. I’ll give you a better massage.” I rub my hands up and down her arms.
She spins around, smiling, happy tears in her eyes. “I’m pretty sure that I’m the one who should be offering that to you.” She glances down at my knee as I tuck my crutches back beneath my arms.
“Yeah, yeah. Shhhh. Let me take care of you,” I insist.
Swallowing hard, she follows me back to our bedroom. A slow, tantalizing tension builds between us like a physical tether, each breath strumming the line.
“I’m going to shower instead actually. Is that okay?” she murmurs behind me as I walk into the bedroom.
“Of course. Want me to order food?” I offer, trying to ignore the images forming in my mind of her in my shower without me.
“That’d be great, honestly. I’m exhausted right now.” She walks over to her suitcases in the corner to get clothes, and she nearly launches the empty luggage by how hard she pulls. Her eyes flash to me, confused.
“I … unpacked everything for you.” I gesture to the big, wide dresser beneath the TV. “Top three drawers.”
Her eyes soften, and her shoulders relax as I sit down on the edge of the bed. “Really?”
“Yeah,” I whisper, not realizing how quiet my voice is.
“You’ve done too much for me today.” Rocking back and forth on the balls of her feet, she slowly steps toward me, closing the distance torturously slowly. “Thank you.”
“I just wanted to help.” I lean back on my hands as she takes another step, only a foot left.
“I don’t get it …” she murmurs, tucking her hands behind her back.
“What?” I sit up, clasping my hands between my knees, looking up at her.
“First, you open your home to me without hesitating, then you don’t freak out when I tell you I’m pregnant, and finally, you start nesting the next day.” She chuckles, and I laugh along with her. “Why? Why deal with all of this when none of it’s your responsibility? You could’ve told me to stay in a hotel or to move back into my apartment as soon as possible.”
Stepping forward, she stops between my legs, and my hands fall to the outside of her thighs as she continues, my thumbs stroking the thin material of her scrub joggers. “Why pick me when I come with all of these complications and challenges? You could choose any path you want in life.”
Grabbing her hands, I inch back on the bed and pull her forward. Slowly, she drops one knee outside of my thigh and then the other, straddling my lap. My heart skips a beat.
I slide my hands up her hips, settling on her lower back as I hold her to me intentionally, our mouths mere inches apart, our warm breath dancing together.
“There’s never been any other path for me but you.”
