I’m so fucking pathetic. So fucking weak. I couldn’t even own up to what was happening because I was scared. Who cares? Grow up! Fuck! You were scared. Boohoo. Look what being a little bitch got you!
I wage a war with my mind, battling between pity and rage.
“You’ll have an MRI scheduled in the next day or so, so we can see what’s going on in there. I’ll give you a call in the morning with the date and time. Tonight, you need RICE. Rest.Ice. Compression. Elevation. Keep your knee above your heart whenever possible.”
I want to snap at her, to tell her that I’m well aware of post-tear protocols, but I just nod and avoid her gaze. “Thanks.”
“We’ll get you sorted out in no time, okay?” She pats my shoulder. “Lainey? A word.”
This snaps me out of my stupor, and I turn to Caitlin, meeting her gaze. “Before you think of yelling at her for intervening, you need to know that I told her to keep our past friendship quiet. It’s my fault she didn’t disclose it.”
Caitlin politely smiles. “Okay. Thank you. But I still need to have a word in private. Do you want to wait in here, Jensen, or in the chair in the hallway?”
Tensing my jaw, I’m annoyed that she feels the need to isolate me from the conversation.
I flash my gaze to Lain, and she nods quickly, assuring me she’s fine. But I still don’t like it. She’d better not get any reprimands for looking out for me.
I crutch out of the room, finding a seat in the hallway while my nerves start to eat me alive. This injury is already costing me so much. I don’t know what I’ll do if I know it’s hurting Lainey somehow too.
The door clicks shut, and I roll my eyes at the impressive soundproofing the room provides. I can’t pick up a single word.
Fast steps garner my attention, and I turn, seeing Coach Carrington walking down the hallway, concern in his pinched brows and flared nostrils.
“Hey, what’s going on?”
My lips part, but my response gets stuck in my throat, and I choke, coughing while my eyes burn again.
A look of despair crosses his face, and he knows without having to hear a single word. He knows of my past injuriesand that my worst fear was going through this injury and the recovery again.
ACL tears are one of the most common injuries with professional athletes, unfortunately. There’s a chance that my knee will never be the same after this, that I won’t be the same athlete I was before tonight. And that’s fucking terrifying.
He sits in the empty chair to my right, his clasped hands hanging between his legs as he sighs. “I’m sorry, man.”
I rest my head back against the wall, and a tear rolls down my cheek. “How are the guys?”
He sighs. “Concerned. They’re fighting to win though. But don’t worry about the game right now. You focus on yourself and getting better.” His watch buzzes, and he quickly checks it. “I have to get back. But I’ll call you later and check in, okay?”
I nod as he rises to his feet, gives me a saddened smile, and heads back down the hallway.
The door handle jiggles behind me, and I sit up taller, remembering that Lainey’s inside with Caitlin. It swings open, and Lainey steps through.
The first thing I do is check her eyes, which aren’t any redder than when I stepped out.Good.
She smiles at me, and I can tell there’s something wrong, but I’ll wait until we’re alone to ask her about it.
Her hands lifts from her side and stretches out before me, and my heart skips a beat.
“Are you ready? I’m taking you home.”
“I should stay for the rest of the game.”
“No,” Caitlin yells from inside the room. “You should go rest and get it elevated.”
Lainey smiles softly, not enough to lift the haunting look in her eyes, but enough to tip the corners of her lips up. “Come on.”
“Is everything okay?” I ask, sitting up taller and leaning forward toward her.
She shakes her head at the same time that she says, “Yes. But that’s not important right now. Let’s just get you home.”
