It’s probably just a little stomach flu or something because I don’t have any other symptoms …
Oh God, my period’s late.
Racking my mind, I try to think back on when my last one was.I got here about two weeks ago, and I ended my period four weeks before that … maybe even more.
Shit.
With traveling and the stress of this massive change, I must’ve lost track of my cycle in the chaos.
Oh my God, am I … pregnant?
Cole and I had sex before I left here. Right? There was once more, I think, before my last period maybe. I have such a hard time remembering because I usually black them out in the moment, and afterward, it’s hard to recall.
Grabbing my phone, I check the Vegas Venom’s recent game outcomes. When they lose, he often comes home, wanting sex to feel better, and I hate seeing him in a bad mood, so I usually oblige.
I scroll back to the last two months and find three games that they lost at home, and my blood runs cold. They are all Saturdaygames, which I often stayed home for and the times when Cole made me feel guilty and persuaded me to make it up to him.
The likelihood that my throwing up could be caused by pregnancy is growing by the second, as is my anxiety. But I’m also trying not to jump to that conclusion from being sick one time, like shows and movies always do.
A gentle hand caresses mine, and Morgan’s sweet voice pulls me from my racing thoughts. “Lainey?”
Trying to shake the fear and possibilities away, I clear my throat. “Sorry. Did you say something?”
“Do you want me to come with you?” she offers, and my heart warms at her kind gesture, but I play it dumb.
“Where to?”
Her head tilts to the side ever so slightly, her voice soft but hesitant. “To get a pregnancy test.”
“No.” The word slips past my lips before I realize it. “I’m not pregnant.”
“Yeah, I mean, I’m not saying you are, but you disappeared in thought there for a minute after we talked about you puking.” She pulls her hand away from mine. “You don’t have any family out here, and I don’t either, so I get it. I’m here, and I just wanted to help. I’m sorry if I overstepped.”
“I appreciate that. Seriously. And, no, it’s okay.” I smile at her, knowing damn well that when I take a test, I’ll be doing it alone. I like her a lot—I do—and I genuinely appreciate her offer. I just need to do this myself.
My phone buzzes, and I read the message that pops up on the screen from my boss, Caitlin, asking if I can come in a little earlier tonight since they have a few players who need extra attention and one of their trainers is out sick.
“Morgan, I’m sorry. It looks like I have to head to the arena sooner than planned.” I can’t even meet her eye, feeling pathetic and guilty for brushing her off after her generous kindness.
“Don’t apologize. Trust me, I get it!”
“You can hang out for a few if you’d like. I just have to change quickly.” I toss the blanket from my lap and pad into my bedroom.
“I’m going to stop by next door. My best friend, Chloe, is there right now, and I want to see if they need anything.”
Walking back toward the living room, I lean against the doorframe, my chest twisting with tightness. “Get together again soon?”
She smiles and nods sharply. “I wouldn’t miss it.”
Walking over to me, she pulls me in for a quick hug before heading out. The door shuts behind her, and my eyes fall, slamming shut as the biggest exhale rips from my lungs.
But I don’t have time to wonder if I’m pregnant or freak out about the thousand what-ifs. I need to get to the arena, to the job I worked my life for. Getting pregnant right now is so not a part of my plan, especially with Cole as the father. He is going to be nothing but a headache to deal with—that I’m sure of.
After helping players stretch out attention areas and assisting the lead trainer with their game prep, I head to the tunnel entrance to catch a little of the game. I’m not main staff for game days. I’m here as a backup essentially, but I don’t mind that Caitlin called me in to help. I’m happy to absorb any information they have.
During games, the physical trainers are the front-line staff for game monitoring, in-game injuries, and any in-the-moment needs. I won’t necessarily be filling in for that role tonight, butrather, I’ll be the go-to girl to grab anything the staff needs or to help in any way.
I’ve been so on edge the last few hours, struggling to keep that heavy question out of my mind as I live in my denial. But I can’t do anything about it right now, so I’m trying to keep focused on the task at hand.
