But he stays silent for a moment, watching me carefully, like he’s scared I’m going to disintegrate.
Those dilated brown eyes bounce between mine, wetness welling up on his lower lashes.
His thumb strokes the back of my hand, and I pull it away from him.
“I’m never going to apologize for what I did to him. If anything, I’m mad at myself for not finishing the job.”
“Jensen,” I exhale, taken aback at the rage and fire forming in his stare. “Does every conversation with us have to be like this? Can’t we just be cordial and professional? Like adults.” I step back, brushing my shirt out as a weight the size of the world seems to settle on my shoulders.
“I can be professional if that’s what you want. I’ll be on my best behavior for you, Lain, because there’s nothing Iwouldn’tdo for you.” He swings his legs off the table and stands up, towering over me. “Remember that.”
My phone buzzes in my pocket as he steps through the threshold of the door and down the hallway, leaving me to my tortuous thoughts. I check my phone, finding a text from Luca.
Luca: Hey, we play you guys tomorrow night. We’re getting a drink after, and I might end up crashing at your place. Is that cool?
While I’m excited to see my brother, I’m not entirely thrilled to go out. Me, nighttime, and alcohol mixed together doesn’t usually end well. I typically end up getting paranoid and having an anxiety attack, especially if I’m out in public with a bunch of people I don’t know.
But it’ll probably be different if I’m with Luca. I’ll feel safe with him.
Yeah, no problem. And sounds good. Do you fly back the next morning then?
Luca: Yeah. Eight a.m. And sweeeeet! We are going to have a good time! Leave prude Lainey at home. We’re celebrating the gang being back together.
Oh no.
The gang?
Luca’s text bubbles appear and disappear over and over before his next message comes through.
Luca: Well, you know my birthday’s coming up, and the only thing I want is for the three of us to have a nice night. No fighting. No grudges. Just like old times.
You’ve got to be kidding me.
Luca sends another message right away.
Luca: You already said yes. No take-backs!
I’m going to kill you.
Luca: AFTER our nice night out. Come onnnn. It won’t be that bad.
You don’t know that, and besides, Cole would be pissed if he found out I went out with Jensen.
Luca: He’ll get over it.
Clearly, Luca doesn’t know Cole very well. A new text comes through, and a shiver runs down my spine. It’s like he knew we were talking about him.
Cole: Morning.
My heart sinks as he fails to meet the expectations I had for his response to my sweet voice note. God, he used to be so affectionate and loving, but the longer I’m away, the faster that side of him is fading. If that’s the response he’s going to send, why even reply at all?
I miss you.
Cole’s text bubbles appear, and it feels like a decade passes by before they disappear, making a crack tear through my heart.
I’ve done so much for him. I’ve loved him unconditionally these last few years. He knew how hard this transition was going to be, and he’s been making a fuck-all level of effort.
This may be petty and immature of me, but I kind of don’t care. Luca’s right. I’m going out with my brother and one of my oldest friends. What’s so wrong with that?
