I’m a habitual runner, begrudgingly so, but it’s become the foundation of my days. Most of the time, my body is so flooded with anxiety and in constant fight-or-flight mode since my assault. But I’m sure most people who endure an attack like I did and lived are constantly as on edge as I am.
For a while after I got out of the hospital, everything in the world triggered me. From feeling a breeze on my skin to even stepping a foot outside, the smallest thing can send me spiraling. Every day is a challenge, some easier than others, and it’s a battle I’ll spend the rest of my life fighting.
The taxi driver clears his throat, tearing me from my thoughts as he rudely snaps, “We’re here.”
Coming from the Midwest, where courtesy and niceties are woven into our personalities, I can sort of see where New Yorkers get their blunt reputation from.
I hurry up and pay him so he doesn’t take off with my suitcases. He takes the cash and steps out of the cab, walking around to the back as if I somehow offended him with my existence. Not wanting to take up any more of his time, I drag the two heavy suitcases from the backseat and set them up on the sidewalk as he pushes the other two my way.
“Thank you so much!” I say genuinely, organizing the suitcases back-to-back so I can roll all four at once.
He doesn’t even bother meeting my eye before plopping back in his car and zooming away.
For a moment, I stand there in a stupor from his attitude, my lack of caffeine, and exhaustion from the long day of travel. Noise from the city fills my ears, and it’s in this moment that it hits me—I’m actuallyinNew York, feet away from my apartment building, and on the precipice of my dream career.
A shimmy runs down my back, not from the bite in the air, but the excitement in my bones. It’s like everything is finally coming together.
Huffing a breath out and pushing my shoulders down, I wheel my suitcases toward the doors, which automatically open as I approach. This place isnice—much nicer than I thought it looked on the photos and digital tour on the website. I can’t wait to see my unit and see if it looks the same as the video walk through.
My suitcases roll across the tile floor as I walk toward the reception office to the left of the entrance to collect my keys.
A kind-eyed brunette, sitting behind the tall desk, greets me with a smile. “Hi! How can I help you?”
“I’m here to get keys to my unit.” I flex my hands after releasing the handles, suddenly realizing how tightly I was gripping them. “My name is Lainey Bradford. Unit 604.”
Her fingers type rapidly into the computer as she hums softly. “Perfect. Looks like all of the paperwork is filled out. Deposit is paid.” She takes a second to read before continuing, “Forms look great.” She looks up at me. “Let me go grab your keys.”
I flash a smile at her as she stands from her desk and disappears down a hallway. She returns a moment later, the keys jingling in her hand.
“Here we go.” She claps her hands together. “Have you been here before? From what I could tell, it looks like your paperwork was done electronically.”
“I haven’t. This is my first time.” I fight back a yawn.
“Oh, well, they don’t compare to the real details you’ll find in person!” She stands up taller. “I’ll take you on a little tour on your way up to your floor. My name’s Hannah, by the way.”
Her energy is calming, and my shoulders relax ever so slightly.
“It’s nice to meet you. And, yeah, that’d be great. Thank you.”
She gestures with her hand, and I spin on my heel and exit through the office door as she grabs the two suitcases behind me.
“Here, let me help.”
We stroll into the foyer, which is welcoming and warm. I can totally see myself sitting at one of the chairs or tables and getting lost in a book or work. Real plants and cozy decor fill every inch of the space. A lot of the tables and lounge furniture are occupied by other residents.
“We have free Wi-Fi for the entire building and tons of amenities and benefits, including a twenty-four/seven coffee bar. But it’s dispensers and toppings, not an on-staff barista.” She guides me toward the back of the foyer, where large windows display the huge gym.
Lines of treadmills, ellipticals, stairclimbers, and weights fill the space, reminding me of a Planet Fitness with the amount of equipment jammed inside.
“I’m very excited aboutthat,” I say before we turn right down a hallway.
“It’s a fantastic facility with on-site staff for anything you’d need.” She presses a button for one of the elevators. “We also have on-site security twenty-four/seven, and there’s a direct line listed in your welcome packet for any emergencies.”
That was one of the main selling points when it came to this place. If I’m going to live alone while I’m in New York, then I need peace of mind. Not that the police or security helped me before, but it makes me feel like there’s less of a chance with them around.
That won’t lower my guard though. That’s the first mistake when there’s security present. That’s when weaknesses are exposed and people get comfortable. If there’s a safety net, you’re less on edge, but I won’t be. I never am.
The elevator doors open, and we step inside, dragging my suitcases along with us.
