It’s been a month and a half since Declan and I have both been discharged. Tonight, we’re all at the Byrnes for a family dinner. This one does not include my family. As much as I love them Mac and I decided that it’s best to keep the families separate for the time being. We’re all sitting around the big patio table that seats us all comfortably. The boys are all teasing eachother. Clara, Nix, and I are fighting for our lives just to be heard over the boys, and Rhett has just taken his processors out and handed them to his dad.
Same, kid. Same.
So all in all, it’s the perfect family dinner. Even through the total chaos, there’s a calm to my soul. Mac absentmindedly reaches over and takes my hand in his while still talking to Rowan. His thumb rubs gentle circles on the back of my hand. I can’t help the smile that takes over my face. He always makes sure I know that when we’re surrounded by noise, he’s my quiet.
I’m talking to Nix about this new assignment that I’ll start next week for her when Mac abruptly stands up. Well, abruptly for me who wasn’t paying attention. I look between him and Kieran, who has also stood up.
“What’s going on?” My eyes flicker between him and Kie.
“Nothing, Beautiful. I’m going to go talk to Kie. I’ll be right back. If you start hurting or anything just text me.” He leans down and gently presses his lips to my forehead. Whoever says forehead kisses aren’t the best kind of kisses is lying to you.
“Okay, you text me if you need me, too.” I’m eyeing him warily. I know he and Davis have been working pretty heavily on his ninth step. Also, he mentioned being ready to talk to his brothers just yesterday, so I can only assume that’s what this is about. He smiles and squeezes my hand gently before placing it on the table and following his older brother across the yard.
As soon as they’re out of earshot all eyes dart to me.
“What’s that about?” Declan questions.
“None of our business. If he wanted you to know, you’dknow.” I smirk as I shrug noncommittally.
Speaking of hard conversations that need to be had, I turn my attention to Elle.
“Hey, Elle. Would it be okay if we walked inside to talk?” The entire table silences.
You could hear a pin drop.
Sully puts his hand on Elle’s arm and whispers something into her ear. She nods and pats his hand reassuringly before standing up.
“Of course. We can go into the living room.” She offers me a shy smile and stands up. As we both step away from the table, I hear Sully call after her.
“Boo.”
“It’s okay, Monster. Calm down.” She throws over her shoulder before opening the sliding glass door for me.
My therapist, Clara, and I thought this would be a good conversation for Elle and I to have. After her dad’s stunt at my house a few months ago, he started grief therapy, as well as found out that about seven of his men actually knew where I was the entire time and were participants in my abuse. Those men haven’t been seen or heard of since.
Mac told me about Matteo and Leo. Of course he did. We tell each other the truth, even when it’s hard. I wasn’t upset about it. If I’m being honest, he probably needed to do it just as much as I needed to know they were gone and could never hurt anyone again. Mac is a Byrne at the end of the day, and no matter how docile some of them appear, they all have that beast lurking just under the surface waiting to strike.
I follow Elle into the living room, and it isn’t until we both sit on the couch facing each other that we let out a nerve filled sigh in unison. A small laugh bubbles out of us both.
“So.” Elle drags out the ‘o’ as she fidgets with her fingers.
“I’m sorry.” I rush out.
Her brow furrows as she processes what I just said, “You’re sorry? For what?”
“For not coming back for you after I was adopted. I banked on them not hurting you because your dad would link the pieces if they did. Obviously that was me making excuses to not have to face any of them again.”
“Why didn’t you come back and tell him the truth? Papa would have taken care of them as soon as you returned.” She doesn’t confirm or deny if she was hurt by any of the men, and I think that’s her story. I’m not going to push her for details I don’t deserve.
“Because the world you were raised in, the one I was raised in for seven years, is dangerous. You know as well as I do that you spent your life with a target on your back. I’m sure you can’t even count the number of lockdowns you’ve had to go through. The threats, the guards, and the bloodshed you’ve had to witness. My Papa may work for a mafia family, but he always made sure to keep my Mama, myself, and my siblings as far away from that as possible. This life didn’t touch me after I was rescued until I reconnected with Mac. Even now, Mac doesn’t let it touch me. That doesn’t mean how you were raised was wrong. It just means with the nightmare I lived through, I deserve the peace my family can offer me.”
Elle takes a solid minute to process what I said before nodding, “I don’t agree with it. But I can see your point of view. I can’t imagine what you’ve lived through, and I won’t try to. All I can ask is that you don’t try to speak to what I’ve lived through either.”
“Of course. It looks like both of us are going to be connectedby the Byrnes for the foreseeable future. I won’t demand to sweep in and play the big sister role, but maybe we can try to not actively avoid each other anymore?” It’s the olive branch that I’m willing to extend right now. I would love to get to know Elle on a deeper level, but I’m not completely there yet, and from the looks of it, neither is she.
“I’d like that.” She smiles, and it’s then that I finally see the resemblance between the two of us.
“So, Annie Fischer is your little sister, right?” Elle quirks her eyebrow at me.
