“That’s good, I’m proud of you. How was therapy today?” I want to try to normalize these questions so hopefully he feels comfortable talking to me about it.
“It was good. He’s really curious to see how I feel about the meeting tonight. He thinks I’m going to like it. I’m not so sure, but we’ll see. Kie’s going to come with me, which makes me feel better about it. I was thinking our weekends together could be on the weekend that my new month falls. You know, kind of like it’s a celebration. I know it might sound lame,so if it does we can scrap the idea.”
“No, actually I love that. And we can talk whenever, right?” I’m nervous about this. At the same time, I have all the faith in the world that we can do this.
“Yeah, baby. I’ll text you when I can throughout the day. And I want to know everything going on with you. No sugarcoating anything.”
“That only works if it’s a two way street, Quill.”
“Of course. No more half truths or lies. I’ll tell you anything you want to know.” I can hear his sincerity and want to wrap him up in my arms so badly. I love this man more than anything, and if that means we change things up for a few months, then so be it.
“My brothers will probably camp out at my apartment that first weekend, just so you know.” I’m trying to lighten the mood, but I can tell I missed my mark.
“Yeah, I figured as much.”
“Is that okay with you?” I gently push.
“Yeah, I was in active addiction for almost nine years, sweetheart. That’s a lot of trust I have to make up for.” Okay, so we’re still in a good frame of mind. That’s good.
“You’re right. I’ll wait until you’re done with your meeting tonight. Will you call me when you leave?”
“Yeah, of course I will. I’ll text you, Lee.”
“Talk to you soon, Quill.” I hang up and decide to wander out of Dieter’s office into the three port garage.
The doors are rolled up, and there’s a car in each bay. Different mechanics’ tall toolboxes line the back wall. The smell of grease, gas, and sweaty man assaults my nose all at once. Ethan’s voice makes my ears perk. I’m nosy by nature, and I need to know what’s being said. He and Dieter arestanding in the farthest bay from me. Quietly I sneak into the middle bay and crouch down behind the Palisade that blocks me from their view. The other mechanics that work for my brother have left already. So the only way I can get caught is by Dieter or Ethan.
“You need to chill out. I know you’ve got a thing for Lee, but you have to let that go. We’re bros, but you step in the way of my sister’s happiness, and we’re going to be bros that take it out into the yard.” Dieter calls Ethan all the way out. My jaw drops. Damn, men really have no couth.
“You’re whacked, do you know that? I don’t have a fucking thing for her. I mean, don’t get it twisted, your sister is a twelve on her worst days, and she has every quality that I’d love in a woman. But she’s your sister, and as someone who’s been working with you and been treated like a family since I was seventeen, that’s like wanting to fuck my sister.” He makes a gagging noise, and I try hard not to be offended. He did call me a twelve, so I’ll take that as a win.
I hear Dieter dry heave as well, “Don’t ever use ‘fucking’ and my sister in the same sentence again or I’ll fire you. What’s your problem then?”
“My problem is, I love her, and there’s this part of me that wants to put her in a bubble and protect her from all the dangers of the world. And do you know what one of the biggest dangers of this town and Jersey City is? Let me remind you… The fucking Byrnes. You might as well send her off to one of the Rossi men and call it a day. They’re just as fucking dangerous.”
There’s no way Ethan can know how hard that declaration hits Dieter in the heart. He has no idea of my background. He thinks I’m biologically my parents’ kid. He isn’t wrong,though. They’re both dangerous. I just have to trust that Mac can keep me out of the flames so I don’t get burned.
“You haven’t seen them together. He would lay his life down if it meant she had a good day over a bad day. I know what you’re saying, trust me. I know. Also, I don’t believe for one minute that she’s in even a speck of danger when he’s around.”
I’m done listening to this shit. I’m an adult and can make my own decisions. I know it’s hard for them to remember that, but it doesn’t make it any less true. Standing straight up, both men catch me and stare at me slack jawed.
“I’m ready to go home, D.” Before either of them can speak, I turn on my heels and head straight for my brother’s truck. I refuse to speak to him the whole way home, and when we get home, I go into my room and shut the door. The text on my phone from Ethan goes unanswered too. Mac should be calling me soon. I just need him to call.
21
Chapter Twenty-One
Mac
Walking up on the side of this church, my heart begins racing. I feel so much better than I did just a few days ago. Shit, I feel better today than I did yesterday. My body yearns for a drink, just a fucking sip, but I know that’s counterproductive. My head feels so much clearer, and overall I don’t feel as panicked. If nothing else will keep me sober, I think the fear of having to detox again will be enough. That shit was for the birds, and I will not be doing that again. I’d rather just take myself out, to be honest.
Kieran keeps pace with me as we turn the corner. As soon as we do, my eyes clash with none other than Davis’ as I watch his shoulders fall, making him appear more relaxed. My hackles rise as we come closer, and he throws his hand up at us. “Hey, Mac right?” His smile is warm and friendly.
“Yeah. This is my brother Kieran.” I gesture to Kie. “Wethought we’d come see what it’s all about.” I nod my head towards the basement doors.
I’d expect Davis to make a shitty comment about how last time I said the shit wasn’t for me. He doesn’t, he just smiles.“You’re in the right place, Mac.”
We follow him down the stairs to the big open basement. It’s nothing fancy. The floors are concrete. There are solid metal beams exposed holding up the structure above us. In the center of the room are about twenty or so chairs set in a circle. He takes a seat in a WWE-style folded metal chair. I follow suit beside him, and Kieran beside me. There’s about twelve or so other people here. People from all walks of life fill the empty chairs. Some with dirty clothes and faces, some who look like parents, and some who could very well be CEOs of a company. People who look younger than me, and some who look like they could be my grandparents.
