Dieter: I can push clients too.
Lee: There is no point in coming to my apartment just to stare at me hooked up to a machine for three hours. I’m fine. I’ll call if that changes. Ich liebe dich.
Jakob: I’m coming over after I close Kneipe for the night. I’ll let myself in, don’t wait up.
Lee: Jakob, I said I’m fine.
Annie: And he said he’ll let himself in. You aren’t fooling anyone Lee. We know how crappy you feel after. We’ve been doing this for five years.
Lee: I’m sorry.
Papa: Sorry for what, exactly?
Mama: Don’t you dare apologize, my darling girl.
Dieter: Don’t. We aren’t doing that self deprecating shit. We love you, so we show up. Jakob let us know how she’s doing tomorrow. I’ve got to put Hannah down. Ich liebe dich.
Everyone responds with the same thing, Ich liebe dich.I love you.Taking a deep breath, I move over to my two notifications. One from Nix and the other from Quill. I open Nix first because I’m a chicken.
Nix: Just checking in. We’re having the best time in Grand Turk! Dude, I’m so glad I married him, the sex is to die for.
Lee: You’re ridiculous. I know entirely too much about your man’s dick, and your sex life. Does he know how much I know?
Nix: No, he doesn’t. Don’t tell him either, I like to keep him humble. If I don’t he’s insufferable.
Laughing, I type out my last reply to her for the night.
Lee: Got it. Go sex it up with your new husband. Be safe, give me nieces and nephews. Love youuuuu.
I click to back out of Nix’s thread and brave the move over to Mac’s waiting text.
Quill: Hey beautiful, just been thinking about you. I hope you’re having a good Sunday.
Lee: It wasn’t terrible. How was your day?
Quill: It was alright. So now that we’ve seen each other in person, can I take you to coffee soon?
Oh, no. No no no, I can’t be seen in public with him.
Lee: We’ll see.
Quill: Okay. I’ll play this your way. Goodnight, Beautiful. Call me if you need anything.
Lee: Goodnight, Handsome.
After getting ready for bed and plugging up my phone, I find myself tossing and turning. I can’t get comfortable, my skin feels tight, and my breathing is choppy. My anxiety at night is always the worst. Typically I’d call my Mama or Annie, but Mac’s last text runs through my head until I pick my phone up. Before I can second guess myself, I bring up his contact and press the phone icon. I’ll let him help me out just this once. Only once, and then we’ll go back to normal.
5
Chapter Five
Mac
Today sucked. No, honestly that’s putting it lightly. Today was like living in the seventh circle of Hell. There’s no other way to describe. My brothers decided to stage an intervention. They poured out every ounce of booze they could find in the house, and now they think they’re the saints of New Jersey. They’ve pissed me right the fuck off. To top it off, they’ve been so far up my asshole today, that I’ve barely been able to pee without them over my shoulder.
My hands shake and my mouth waters to feel that calming burn on its way down my throat and into my belly. Little do they know, I’ve been stashing liquor in this house since I was fourteen. They missed about a third of my supply. So when I finally convinced them to not follow me into the bathroom. I was able to take a small bottle of whiskey from under the sinkthat I stashed behind the cleaning supplies and drink it.
They’ve declared that I’ll go to AA or rehab, that they’ll drive me there themselves. Flaw in their plan? I’m smarter than all of them. All I had to do was promise that I’d cut back majorly. After some convincing, they reluctantly agreed. I’m not an alcoholic. I don’t need rehab or meetings or any of that shit. They all drink too, so I’m not exactly sure what they’re all up in arms about. I’m not missing work or making mistakes while I’m there, so who cares what I do in my spare time?
