She buries her head into the crook of my shoulder, “This isn’t your fault. It just really freaks me out that he’s been in this house. He could have done something or taken us. I just don’t understand.”
“Hey, whoa, no. He wasn’t in this house.” I lean my head down to whisper into the side of her head because you never know right now.
“We think he’s working with the Russians, and we think THEY have a rat planted here. He’s not important to them, they just want to fuck with us.”
Her spine straightens and she stiffens in my hold. “What?” Her voice is unnaturally high and my finger flies to my lips to signal to her that we have to keep our voices down.
Leaning in I bring my lips to her ear, “We don’t know who, we have to keep it quiet. You can ask me anything you need to in the morning on the way to the doctor, okay?”
She nods in understanding then curls back up in my lap trailing her fingers up and down my chest. “His appointment is in the morning..”
Kissing her head I pull her closer, “I know, how are you feeling?” She yawns, “I’m nervous, I’m exhausted, I don’t know what to do with the information tomorrow once we get it. I’m just, I don’t know. I’m still processing. How do you feel?”
I think that over, while my arms pull her impossibly closer, “I’m okay. Just hoping he does well, these tests won’t hurt him,right?” My heart rate spikes, much like it does every time I think about anything making them hurt or uncomfortable. I’ve never worried about things like this, to be honest I’ve never worried like this about my brothers, and they make me worry about everything. Clara must be able to hear the anxiety in my voice, or feel it radiating from me, because she takes my hand and pulls it into her lap, running her fingers up and down my forearm arm in a soothing way. “No, they may have to take blood, but I’m not even sure about that. He’ll be fine. He’s excited for this, remember.”
She’s right, I know she is, but I still can’t shake this unease. “I don’t know, baby. I have this really uneasy feeling about this. Maybe we should push his appointment back.”
Smiling up at me, she leans up and kisses the underside of my jaw, “That’s being a parent, Roe. Unfortunately the feeling never really goes away. It’ll lessen or get stronger depending on what’s going on with your kids, but it’s always there lingering.” Nope, don’t like that. I don’t want to have to be constantly worried he’s going to be hurt, or something’s going to happen to him.
“Well, maybe if we make him safe enough. We won’t have to worry then.”
Laughing, she’s laughing at me now. “Oh, Babe, that’s not going to happen. It’s a part of parenthood, you have the Daddy title, now you get the Daddy anxiety with it.”
Huffing out an annoyed breath I nuzzle my face into her hair, “Well, fine, but I don’t like it.”
Her hand never stops rubbing on my forearm, she sighs, “Me either, but it comes with the territory.” My eyes start drifting closed, as I feel her body relax into mine, her breathing evening out. Yeah, we’re going to get through this together. When wedo, I may just take them and leave. Never has the thought crossed my mind before, but as soon as it runs through my head I know it’s true. My brothers have been the priority for so long. Now, I’m realizing I’d leave them, and this life all behind just to make sure Clara and Rhett are happy, healthy, and safe.
* * *
Rhett’s sitting in my lap in the room, squeezing Safe, and waiting on the doctor. He’s buzzing with nervous energy. I’m unsure if it’s because of the tests he’s had today or if it’s because every single person who’s walked in this fucking room or tested him has been a male. He won’t leave my lap, which is fine with me, it just means I’ve had to sit in on his tests. Obviously, that’s something I preferred anyways. Clara’s come with us too because I’m not Rhett’s legal guardian or parent. Something we will be rectifying soon. He’s tangling his fingers in mine while Clara’s head is leaning on my shoulder. It’s been a long day. We’re sitting like this in silence when Dr. Matthews walks into the room. Rhett turns to face me as the doctor starts talking.
“Well, Rhett here is a prime candidate for a cochlear implant. His hearing loss is in the profound region. I would like to get an MRI done before we discuss surgery dates just to be sure the one you provided from a few years ago is accurate. After that we can schedule.” The entire time he’s talking to us, I’m signing to Rhett. He’s not going to understand it all. Hell, he won’t understand half of it, but it’ll be a cold day in hell before we talk about him in front of him and he doesn’tknow what’s going on. They’ve been doing this all day and it pisses me off. I could tell Clara was getting just as irritated as I was. So instead of her blowing up on everyone here I just started telling him what’s going on.
Clara’s watching the doctor closely, “So what does that look like? How long is the surgery? How long does he stay in the hospital? What’s the recovery time?” Reaching over I take her hand in mine and give it a reassuring squeeze.
Before he can answer I cut in, “Also I need you to either get an interpreter or do it yourself while you answer our questions.” He gives me a bored look that makes me want to rip his vocal cords out of his throat.
“Mr. Byrne, he’s a small child. He doesn’t need to know what I’m saying. Even if we did interpret, he won’t understand what we’re saying.” Yeah, fuck this. Smiling, I hand Rhett to Clara and sign that I’ll be right back.
Walking past Dr. Douche I grip his shoulder, “I’m going to need to talk to you for a minute in the hall.” His face pales as he apprehensively follows me. As soon as the door shuts my hand is wrapped in his shirt and he’s against the wall. Unable to stop myself, I get up in his face and speak low but deliberately.
“I’m only going to say this one more time. Go get my son a fucking interpreter. If I have to repeat myself again, I’ll cut your fucking hands off myself. You’re the best on the East Coast, it’d be a shame for something to happen to them.”
His eyes grow in shock then in recognition before he chokes out, “You’re Rowan Byrne. Mr. Byrne, I’m so sorry, of course. Let me go get our interpreter and I’ll be right back.”
Pushing off of him, he scurries off to find us what we need. Rolling my shoulders and shaking out the tension from my arms, I take a big breath, let it out, then open the door walkingback in, to my family.
Clara’s shooting daggers at me as soon as I walk in the door, but Rhett just looks relieved that I’m back.
Signing and speaking at the same time, “He’ll be right back. He went to grab an interpreter for us.” I paste on my infamous grin that usually gets me out of trouble and into bed with Clara but she isn’t budging on her glare. Taking my seat beside her again and situating Rhett back in my lap he leans his back onto my chest and shuts his eyes. Absentmindedly running his little fingers through mine. Deciding to break the tension first my lips find her cheek.
“I’m sorry baby. I’m not going to let anyone, doctor or not, disrespect you two. We’re here for his help and I understand that. At the same time we’re paying him a lot of money for him to perform a service on our son. He’ll do as we ask, especially when the request wasn’t ludicrous.”
Her anger evaporates and she looks at me with understanding. “I just want the answers to my questions. Understanding and agreeing with you on him needing an interpreter right now, and not wanting to make a big deal about it so he doesn’t get mad can both be true at the same time.”
I mull that over for a second, “You’re right, they can be. I’m not worried about making waves with the surgeon though. He’ll perform Rhett’s surgery with refined precision, because he’s good at his job. Maybe a little bit because we have an understanding now. Mostly because he’s not the best for no reason.”
After the doctor comes back with the interpreter, he answers all of our questions. Surgery will last between four to eight hours. It’s outpatient as long as he has no complications. Three to four weeks of recovery. Then they’ll turn on theimplant, put in the external transmitters and we start the programming sessions. It’ll be lengthy, but we’re doing it. Clara and I bickered about the cost of it all and how I’ll be paying for it the whole way home. She finally caved when she realized that I’m not going to budge on it.
