Rowan’s eyes widen, “What are you talking about? Who’s after you? You’re safe here. I’d never let anything happen to either of you. Please trust me, baby. Just tell me what you think is happening.”
Focusing on my breathing I look up at him as indecision swirls in my brain. I feel like I can trust him. I WANT to trust him. He says he can protect us. But can anyone really protect us from Preston? I take a deep breath and decide I have to try to let someone help us if we stand any chance of living a life without running. It’s my turn to take his hand and steel my spine. I decide to tell him what no one other than Preston, Britt and I know.
“I met Preston the first day of my junior year of college. He was charming, handsome, and most importantly extremely attentive. My parents were neglectful to put it mildly, and are alcoholics. I’m sure you can imagine what kind of damage that does to a young girl’s psyche. Preston and I started dating shortly after. He was getting ready to take the entry exam for law school, and I was working on getting my degree inKinesiology. I wanted to be an occupational therapist for kids.
When I graduated Preston was in the thick of law school and convinced me I didn’t need to go to work. He said it was useless when I would just end up staying home when we had children. I didn’t like that and we fought about it. I’m not even sure anymore what I said that pushed him over the edge but he smacked me in the heat of the moment.” Rowan’s eyes flash with rage but I can’t stop until I get it all out or I may never. “I left for a few hours and when I returned he was crying and begging me not to leave. He said it was a mistake and it’d never happen again.
I was twenty-two and wanted to be loved so badly. I’d never seen a normal functioning relationship before. I decided to stay. For the longest time it didn’t happen again. He proposed a year later and I popped up pregnant three months after that. He was excited about the baby, and even more excited when we found out he was a boy. I met my best friend Brittany during that time and we instantly clicked. Preston started getting jealous of me hanging out with and texting her. He said I wasn’t giving him enough attention, or the house wasn’t clean enough, or even that he just didn’t like me talking to her because she was single and I was practically married and a mom.
We ended up arguing about it. I never saw it coming, one moment I was telling him he was stressing me out and it wasn’t good for the baby, and the next I was on the ground with a gash on the side of my head. He’d thrown a glass that hit me and shattered. This time he stormed out of the house and was gone for hours. I’m not sure how long I stayed curled up against the wall and sobbed as Rhett kicked me letting me know he was okay. Eventually Preston came strolling in thehouse gave me one long look of disgust before he walked by and threw over his shoulder,‘Get the fuck up, Clara. You look like a dramatic bitch.’”
I start fidgeting with his hand, to try to keep myself in the present. I’m not there anymore. “After that Preston didn’t even attempt to be nice. He knew I had nowhere to go, and if I tried he’d come after me. He would walk around the house moving his knife through his fingers. He didn’t use it, he just wanted to remind me he carried it and could if he wanted to. He’d walk by just to push me into the wall, but he was careful. He wanted Rhett so he always avoided my belly. The abuse stopped about a week and a half before I was set to be induced with Rhett. I knew it was so the bruises were gone by then. I thought when Rhett was born it would change. Gosh I was so stupid.”
Tears well in my eyes and the anger and pain in Rowan’s, I’m sure mimics what’s in my own, his thumb rubs soothing circles against mine “Rhett failed his newborn hearing screening in the hospital. They said it happens sometimes and they set an appointment for us to see a specialist when we were discharged. Preston was pissed. He waited for everyone to leave the room before he started in on me.‘You fucked up our kid, you stupid bitch, you better hope its a mistake or you’re going to pay. If this kid is fucked up he’s just as big of a waste of time and space as you are.’
I was so scared. For Rhett, for being a new mom, and of what Preston would do to us. We found out when Rhett was four months old that he had damage to the cochlear of both his ears. We could have cochlear implants, but that’s surgery and money Preston wasn’t willing to do. So I spent hours and hours learning ASL so I could teach Rhett. To this dayPreston doesn’t know a single sign or letter in ASL. He would mock Rhett and call him nasty names. I’d beg him to stop but his response was the same,‘Shut up you fat bitch, he can’t hear me anyways.’
When Rhett was two after an incredibly violent night I showed up to Britt’s. My eyes black and bruises littering my arms and chest. I told her everything, and after she stopped raging out about wanting to kill him, we came up with a plan. I’d do my best to stay out of Preston’s way and make small withdrawals of money. I’d store it in the back of Rhett’s closet along with our important documents. And I’d make a ‘go bag’ for each of us. Preston couldn’t be bothered to step foot in Rhett’s room so I knew he wouldn’t find it. We’d hide out there more often than not to escape his wrath. My only saving grace was that lawyers work long hours, so I could pretend we were asleep most nights when he got home.
Six months ago I had a good chunk of change set aside and everything in place. I was going to leave that Saturday night after Preston left to go meet his coworkers at a bar. He’d be far enough away that even if the cameras didn’t turn off like I planned we’d be long gone before he could get home.” Out of everything this night haunts me the most. It was my breaking point. Rowan pulls me into his strong arms and I instantly remember that I’m safe. I’m in his room. Rhett is happy and safe asleep in his much too large bed.
I take one last deep breath as tears stream down my face and I finish “Three nights before we were set to leave Preston came home early. He was pissed that he’d just lost a big case. Rhett and I were playing with his toys in the living room and Preston stormed in kicking all his toys out the way. Rhett jumped into my arms and hid in my neck. That just pissedPreston off more. He grabbed Rhett by the arm and threw him across the room. Rhett’s head bounced off the corner of the wall as I screamed as loud as I could and dove between them. He started kicking me over and over as he screamed‘You’ve ruined my life, you and that defected kid. FUCK YOU!’It felt like it took him forever but he finally stopped, spit on me and walked out the room muttering ‘I’m going to kill you both one day. Just wait.’
He grabbed a fifth of Jim Beam and walked into the game room. I pulled Rhett in my lap and tried to calm him as much as possible. I knew we had to get out that night or we wouldn’t get out at all. Rhett and I hid out in his room until he passed out. I got Rhett to sleep so I could get our things together and text Britt our emergency word that meant we had to go now. Once I was sure he was out for the night I packed us up and left.
I sold my car half way here and bought my Corolla and well, I guess you know the rest. I got my job with Mr. O’Brien pretty early on. We stayed in a battered women’s shelter until I had enough saved up for our apartment. And then a couple of weeks ago, I met you.” I fist my hands in his shirt and finally let myself purge all the trauma and toxins. The whole time Rowan holds me close and whispers into my hair how he’ll fix it all.
13
Chapter Thirteen
Rowan
Ifinally have Clara calmed down enough to lay in bed with Rhett. I kiss both of their foreheads and tell Clara, “Stay here. I’ll be back soon baby.” I straighten up and Clara snatches my hand and looks at me her bottom lip trembles. “It’s okay. I promise you’re safe, Pretty Girl. I just have to go talk to my brothers. I’m not even leaving the house, I promise. I’ll be right down the stairs in the kitchen.” She lets my hand go and doesn’t notice the slight tremor in it. “Okay. We’ll be right here.” Those three words are on the tip of my tongue but I fight them back. Now doesn’t seem like the right time to confess that I’m unapologetically in love with her. She deserves better than telling her right now. Instead I kiss her lips quickly then turn and walk out. The rage I’ve been holding back since she started telling me about her douche bag ex surfaces.
I make my way down the stairs and find my brothers around the kitchen island, exactly where I left them. I sit down on the empty bar chair and place my head in my hands. I try to breathe through these feelings that are tearing me apart. I want to throw something, hit something. I need to get this rage out of my body somehow. But then that’ll put me in the same category as him and I can’t do that. I refuse to let this out anywhere near her and Rhett. I will not give her a reason to ever compare us.
I feel a strong hand rest on my shoulder and I look up to find Mac giving me a sad smile and grip my shoulder in support. I narrow my eyes, “You knew. You KNEW? And you didn’t say anything??”
Mac brings both his hands up in surrender. “I don’t know everything, Roe. I know enough to know it’s not a happy story. And I know enough to know he’s looking for her. But I don’t know the details.” Oh, I’m pissed, where’s the loyalty?
“A fucking heads up would have been nice, MacQuillian!”
His eyes shift from sympathy to anger in a blink, “No, you don’t get to do that Roe. You don’t get to get mad at me for not telling you part of a story that wasn’t mine to tell. I didn’t have all the details and it wasn’t my place. She needed to trust you enough to open up to you. Now she has. You know! And it’s not because your tech geek brother told you, but because SHE told you. I wasn’t taking that from her, and I refuse to feel bad about it. I know you’re pissed and you’re well within your right to be. But what you aren’t doing is taking it out on me. Handle your shit and let’s talk about how we fix this.”
I’m dumbfounded. I mean he’s right, and I know it. He just never snaps at me. The twins? Yes. They’re only three years younger than him and they drive him mad. But Me, Dec, orKieran? Absolutely not. He isn’t scared of us. He just respects us for stepping up and handling shit when Ma and Da were killed.
I try my best to reel it in and look to Kieran, “I want Bratva soldiers, two of them. I want them in the warehouse hanging from the hook by noon.”
Kieran nods, “You got it. In the meantime can you catch the rest of the class up on what the fuck you two are talking about?” I give them a basic summary of what happened upstairs. I leave out the gruesome details because I do agree with Mac, that’s not my story to share.
Declan shakes his head, “Goddamn, that’s one strong woman.”
Kieran huffs and shakes his head in disbelief, “You better kiss the ground she fucking walks on Roe. You’re my brother but I’ll knock you out if you aren’t serious about her.”
I glare at him and roll my eyes, “I’m marrying her. She just doesn’t know it yet. Then I’m adopting Rhett. That’s MY wife, and MY kid.”
Flynn lets out a low whistle, “Hell yeah it is. We’re taking out that piece of shit, and the Bratva. Then we’re going ring shopping.”
