“You good, baby?” he asked, his voice quieter and softer now.
I nodded and smiled against his chest. “Yeah.”
But even as I melted into his warmth, into the space where I always felt safest, a feeling still twisted in my gut.
Because even with Elliott’s hands on me, his voice in my ear…
I could still feel Hana’s eyes on me.
4
Hana
Iwasn’t sure if I left the door open on purpose, or subconsciously. I knew that Jackie and Elliott were right down the hallway. I knew that Jack would fuck me rough and hard, just as he did every night. And the two glasses of wine from earlier, before I stopped drinking for Jackie, were still buzzing through my veins. But that wasn’t really the excuse.
My feelings for Jackie were gradual. At first, we bonded over what we went through. Then, as the months and years went on, I realized that she had awakened something inside of me, something that I didn’t know was there.
I had always found women beautiful, but I never thought of them in any sort of sexual way. But then the first summer that Jack and I went out to LA to visit Elliott and Jackie, seeing her in her little bikini, flaunting the tattoos on her thighs, arms, and stomach that covered the scars Michael gave her—my heart dropped. She had this beautiful figure, full and soft round breasts, and thighs that made something deep in my belly twitch.
I had thought of us that way, had fantasies, but I told myself I’d never act on them. I didn’t want to potentially ruin the friendship we had. But still–I could fantasize.
Jackie was naturally flirtatious, with her sarcastic banter and sly smiles, and it was easy to get a healthy dose of that when we were together.
But something about tonight, in the bathroom…I couldn’t stop thinking of leaning in and kissing her. I wondered what her soft lips felt like. I wondered what her body would feel like pressed against mine.
Jack was right: I had a crush on her. But I’d never admit that out loud.
As Jack and I caught our breath, after he kissed my shoulder and lightly tapped my ass, he pulled me close to him, his chest against my back.
“She saw us,” he whispered, his palm moving gently from my waist to my hips. “And you knew, didn’t you? You knew the door was cracked open,” he went on. His tone wasn’t accusatory or upset; it was more observational than anything.
But still, I felt like I stopped breathing.
“Yeah, I knew,” I whispered back. “I…I like that she saw us,” I admitted.
He chuckled lightly as his palm moved to my breast. “Of course you did, sweetheart. You’ve always been such a naughty girl.” He paused as he squeezed it. “Do you thinksheliked it?”
I licked my lips. “I don’t know. I guess there’s only one way to find out,” I responded.
It was quiet for a moment. “And what’s that?”
I turned toward him, met his eyes, and whispered, “We leave the door open again.”
* * *
The next morning, I woke to the smell of coffee drifting in from the kitchen. The other side of the bed was empty but still warm, and I could hear the shower running from the bathroom.
My thoughts immediately shifted back to the night before.
Jack had said it without hesitation, his voice low against my ear: “I told you—I’d watch too. With either of them, if you wanted. Explore all you want.”
It still caught me off guard with how open he was with me now. When we first met, he wanted to kill anyone who so much as looked at me. But now…
“I’d watch you too,” I had whispered back. “With either of them. Or all of us together.”
That smirk—the one that made my heart skip—spread across his lips. “Good to know, sweetheart.”
And now, in the daylight, in the clarity of the real world, the thought turned me on even more. Would Jackie be into it? Would Elliott? What about Jack and Elliott together?
