I hum with a deep frown. It’ll be part of the reason Evan’s so withdrawn. So distrustful. Trauma like that doesn’t just scar people, but builds walls around them too. Evan’s a sensitive guy, even though he pretends not to be, so I’d bet my left tit that he doesn’t trust people, not because he doesn’t want to, but because he’s learned it's safer not to.
Mae glances my way now. “Anyway, can we please talk about how you’re going to be living in a campervan, exploring the entirety of America and Canada for six months? I’m going to miss you like crazy!”
“Ooh!” Poppy’s eyes bulge. “Can you please bring me back some authentic Canadian bacon?”
I’m early this morning, and the front door is unlocked, so I walk straight in just like I’ve been doing the past two weeks. Leo’s sitting at the table eating his breakfast, and he waves at me, gesturing to Donkey, who sits beside him with his own cereal and milk in an egg cup.
There are some things I need to discuss with Evan regarding what I’m allowed to do with Leo, because even though I kid around, I’m responsible, and I want to get his permission before taking his son places. I can tell the kid is growing bored of paddling in his kiddie pool and painting rocks.
Leo’s already expressed his excitement about my list of fun activities in my notebook, but I’ve noticed Evan reading and scrutinising it over my shoulder every so often, so it looks like he has some objections he hasn’t told me about.
“Where’s your dad, bud?”
Leo points up, and I shoot him a thumbs-up for not talking with his mouth full.
“I’ll be just a second.” I walk up the stairs with my notebook in hand, but as I reach the top, I spot a bare-chested Evan exiting the bathroom. He has a white, fluffy towel slung low on his waist, water glistening on his skin from his morning shower.
I’ve heard of the term ‘Dad Bod’ but fuck me, I wasn’t expecting it to mean this. His muscles ripple, smooth, tanned skin covered by the tiniest bit of chest hair. I stare at him, pretending I haven’t just counted his individual ab muscles, fingers gripping the notebook tightly until the blue plastic painfully pokes into my palm.
“Did you need something?” Evan pinches his thick brows together.
“I… I didn’t think you’d be half-naked, sorry.” I can’t bring myself to look away, though, and maybe that’s rude of me. But what’s even ruder is that this man has the audacity to look this good and keep it hidden from the world. If I were as ripped as he is, I wouldn’t even own clothes. “I can wait downstairs.”
“Flo, you came up here for a reason. What is it? Is something wrong?”
Fuck, the way he says my name has my heart palpitating. It slips off his tongue so easily.
“Are you going to say something, or are you just going to stand there and stare?”
My blues snap to his greys. “Well, don’t walk around shirtless, then. I’m just a woman.”
Chuckling, he shakes his head. “Excuse me for walking around indecent in my own home. What did you need me for?”
Sighing, doing my best to avoid eye contact with his abs because they contract as he talks, I flip open my notebook. “I wanted to get your opinion on all of this, but I didn’t want to do it in front of Leo in case he got upset if you had any refusals.”
Evan’s not even looking at the notebook I’m thrusting in his direction.
“Can you tick the ones you’re happy with me doing with him and put a cross by the ones you’re not? So that I know.”
“No.”
“What?”
He enters his bedroom, leaving the door open, and grabs a workout shirt from his closet. He pulls it over his head, biceps flexing. His towel loosens with his movements, and I’m concerned—but also weirdly hopeful—it might drop. “I said no. I don’t need to. As long as Leo is happy with it, so am I.”
I close the notebook, humming. “Is this some kind of trick?”
“No. I trust you.”
“Just like that?”
“Just like that.” He reaches up and braces himself on the doorframe above us, biceps twitching as he cocks his head at me. “Is that all you wanted?”
I gulp with a sudden dry throat. “Yes.”
No.
What I’d said about not being here to jump his bones like his other nannies, that really feels like a lie right about now. Surely Evan has to be doing this on purpose. I’ve never met anybody who rests on doorframes as much as he does, and I’m surprised the whole house hasn't crumbled into nothing with the amount he does it.
