My best friend wraps her arms around me. “Oh, shit! I knew you would. I’m so happy for you. Where is it?”
My body feels cold. “Florida.”
Florida.
As in states away… Florida.
Flo tries to hide her sadness, but she forces a smile. “I’m so proud of you. You’re gonna love Florida. You’ll get so tanned!”
A laugh trickles out my throat, but even though I should be jumping for joy, I’m not. In fact, my body is filled with disappointment.
Dread.
Regret.
While this was my main goal when I first moved here, I’m beginning to feel my stomach churn at the thought of leaving Missarali.
And it’s fucking scaring me.
27: Nathan
Mae and I fuck anywhere and everywhere. At halftime during games. After practice. Evenings off. I’ve never felt this way for anyone, and it fucking sucks that I have to pretend she’s nothing more than a friend when we’re around other people.
As Bennett said, I’m not great at acting.
Whenever the Missarali Storks win a game, she’s the first face I want to see. The first person I want to hug, and it takes all my strength not to turn to her and wink whenever I score a touchdown.
The media would undoubtedly eat that shit up.
I’m tired. So fucking tired. Football drains me, and I know everything would be so much easier if I were to retire. But wehaveto win. My mother wanted this for me. I need to do this forher.
“You look like shit,” my sister says, and her gaze shifts to my phone on the counter, which has pinged for the seventh time in the last fifteen minutes since she arrived at my house.
It’s our father. The Missarali Storks had another press conference, and he specifically told me that I looked like I wanted to drop dead.
Apparently, there’s no passion behind my eyes anymore, which concerns him. I think he’s worried I’ll fly off the handle, but I’m not sure why he’s only just bringing it up now. My passion for football died long ago.
My phone pings again.
“Is that him?” Poppy narrows her eyes and snatches my phone from my kitchen counter before I can stop her. She reads the messages aloud, cursing. “Jesus, Nathan. Does he always use language like this with you?” She grimaces in revulsion. “You know, it would be so easy for me just to call him up and—”
I shake my head. “What would that accomplish? I don’t want you on his radar, Pops.”
“Nathan, you’re my brother.” She gives me aI don’t give a fuck about himlook.
“It won’t change anything. He’ll be snapping at my heels until we win. And I can’t quit until we do.”
“Because of your mom.”
It feels like someone’s just punched me in the gut. Poppy and I don’t speak about my mother often, but she knows everything she needs to about the situation.
“Look, Poppy, my relationship with my parents is and was complicated. I don’t—”
I’m cut off by someone knocking on my front door.
Either Bennett and Evan are here to pester me, a fan has discovered where I live, or Mae’s here.
I inhale deeply.
