My face is blank. My mind reels, trying to process the words that just left my mom’s mouth. This is the woman who, more often than not, makes me feel like everything I do is wrong. The one that hurts me just for fun. Who points out my flaws whenever she gets a chance.
I half expect to see that usual judgemental look in her eyes, but there’s—what looks to be—shame. It shocks me.
“Sophia’s action hit a nerve, I suppose. Jealousy makes people do ugly things. Say ugly things.” She inhales deeply. “I was always jealous of you and your… father’s relationship. I was jealous I couldn’t be as happy-go-lucky as him. As parental as him. As easy to talk to.” Regret masks her famous grouchy expression.
I don’t know what to say. I’ve thought about this day more times than I can count—the day my mother would explain things to me. And now that it’s happening, here I am, lost for words.
“Nathan came to me one day and demanded I treat you better. I didn’t know how much he actually cared for you at the time, but he told me about his own mother. How she’s not around. I–I don’t know what I thought, really. Just that everyone around could see what an awful mother I was. How life isn’t guaranteed. How I was so deep in, that I felt like I could never change what I had done to us. I felt like we were too far gone. After what Sophia did, I was mad at her, and then I realised I had no right to be mad because I’ve treated you just the same over the years.” Her bony fingers twitch. “I’m sorry, Mae. Jealousy made me ugly.”
I sigh. “We could have been there for each other through Dad’s disappearance. Weshouldhave.”
“I know…” She gulps. “When you called me saying you couldn’t pay your rent back in Colorado anymore, I wanted to help you. But I suppose I wouldn’t allow myself to do a good deed just for the sake of it. I needed something from you, so it’s why I offered you a spot on the team. I had plenty of girls I could have called, but making you join the team made me feel less… weird, I guess, about doing something for you.”
My mother’s explanation goes right through me. After years of being the recipient of words and actions that felt like daggers to my heart, she’s finally sitting here in front of me, trying. She’s putting her pride aside to tell me the truth. To tell me where it all went wrong.
I want to open up to her about the pain she put me through, but looking in her eyes now, all glassy and dead, I’m adamant she already knows. She feels it.
The knife she’s hurt me with is still in my back, but I think it’s cut her, too.
“Thank you for sticking up for me,” I tell her, my lips tilting into a smile.
“I don’t expect ever to be as close to you as your father was, but I think enough is enough… you don’t deserve to be treated like this. I’m sorry.”
“Thank you.”
I don’t know if I should get up and hug her, but that feels a little far for us right now. We aren’t there yet, but we’ve just taken our first baby step.
And baby steps feel a whole lot more appropriate than breaking out into a full-blown sprint.
I bounce into the Missarali City Animal Shelter with a spring in my step. I haven’t seen my scruffy little boy for a week now, and I’ve missed him like crazy.
“Hey, Sheila!” I call as I head past reception, straight down the corridor towards the kennels.
“Oh, Mae! There’s something I need to speak to you about. Well, two things, actually.” She rushes after me, but I’m already frozen in place, my hands shaking as I glance at the kennel before me.
The empty kennel.
The empty kennel that has anadoptedsign taped to the front.
“He… he’s gone?” Tears prick my eyes, but I blink them away.
This is what I wanted for him. He deserved to go to a good home with people who will love him so hard it hurts. He deserves a family.
For a little while, he was starting to feel like mine, though. Likemylittle Radish.
Sheila dips her chin to her chest as she catches up to me. “Um, yes, that’s what I wanted to talk to you about. Well, that, and the fact that we have a job opportunity that you might be interested in. Or you might not be, but I wanted to give you the option to take a look anyway.” She gestures to a bulletin board where a few posters are pinned up.
I step towards it and unpin the one she’s pointing to.
Veterinary nurse opportunity available.
Speak to a member of staff for more details.
I sigh. “Thank you, Sheila, but I’m not qualified.”
She nods, grinning. “We’ve recently joined the Veterinary Training Academy. Mallory and Tonya, our vets, have completed their courses, which means they’re qualified to teach on the job. I can’t guarantee the pay will be great, but it’ll be enough. You wouldn’t need any qualifications to start. Just a really good resume.” Sheila winks at me before she releases a small sigh. “I just wanted to let you know. You’re so good with the animals, and it really would be a shame to lose you, Mae.”
I clutch the poster tighter in my flexed fingers, my entire body going cold as I resist the urge to smother Sheila in an inappropriate bear hug.
