“Is that supposed to make it okay? Mae, you have so much going for you. You’re better than that. You don’t need to have sex with people to get to where you want—”
I hold my hand up to stop him. “Don’t give me a speech on how I don’t need to fuck my way to the top. I’m well aware of that. I didn’t want anything like that from Nathan. I’m not some gold digger, Cam.”
“No, I know you’re not, but—”
“It's the complete opposite of what I was doing. I didn’t do it to gain anything. I actually care about Nathan.”
My brother’s face is red. “Well, does he care about you? Because I would bet my left leg he just sees you two as—”
Anger courses through me. “You don’t know anything about Nathan, do you? Sure, you’re his physiotherapist, but that doesn’t mean you know him on a personal level, Cam.”
He’s taken aback. “What? And you do?”
I remain silent.
“Fuck, Mae. Nobody can know about this, okay?”
“I already know that.”
“I swear to God, if he hurt you—”
“He didn’t hurt me, Cameron Bexley.” He jumps at the way I use his full name. Our father used to do it. “In fact, I’m probably the one who hurt him.”
Guilt hits me point blank in the chest. I feel like a stone sinking in water—gradual at first, but as time goes on, it gets deeper and deeper. There’s no swimming my way back up to the top now.
“It wasn’t just some fling, Cam,” I say, my voice cracking.
My brother doesn’t know what to do. He stares at me, jaw set and mouth curving downwards. He rubs a hand down his face. “I have no idea what Mom was thinking getting you involved in all of this.”
I scoff. “You don’t need to try and make me feel worse than I already do, Cam.” I try to keep everything in, but my throat betrays me, and a small sob lurches up. I cover my mouth with my hand in an attempt to quieten it.
My brother’s eyes soften, and he immediately stalks towards me and pulls me to his chest. He rubs my back soothingly as he curses. “You made a mistake, Mae. It’s okay. You’re gonna be okay. Florida will be good to you. I’ll make sure of it. You can put this all behind you. It was just a mistake; it’s fine.”
My heart rattles against my ribs as tears leak from my eyes.
Cam’s right. I did make a mistake. But it wasn’t getting involved with Nathan. It wasn’t opening up to him. Or letting him see parts of me that no one else ever has. Nor was it falling in love with him.
No.
My mistake was letting go of one of the best things I’d ever had in my life.
Even if the world is against us.
31: Nathan
“Stop pouting. You don’t have the lips for it,” Poppy says as she waltzes up to me inside The Salty Dog. She texted me and demanded I meet her here, and I didn’t dare refuse—after making sure Mae wasn’t working. If there’s one thing I know about my sister, she doesn’t take no for an answer.
I sip on my water. I’m well aware I’m dead behind the eyes.
“You played like shit yesterday,” my sister tells me. “Something on your mind?”
“I don’t need someone else on my back,” I say, pulling the brim of my red cap down.
Poppy’s lips curl in disgust. “Don’t even think about comparing me to our pig of a father. Unlike him, I don’t give a fuck how you play, Nathan. As long as you’re happy.” She sighs. “And you’re not happy.”
“That psychology degree is serving you well.”
“For once in my life, I’m not in the mood for jokes.” Poppy’s tone is serious, and she stares at me in desperation. “Please. Talk to me.”
