“That was fun,” I said.
He nodded and breathed heavily. “It was. Wanna come home with me?”
It was scary, letting my heart be open to Colton again. But as I looked at him there in the glow of the dashboard lights, I saw so many things. I saw young Colton, the college boy who was forever glass half full, naturally lucky. I saw a more weathered version of him, one that had been taught by the hands of time, loss, and experience. And I saw the beautiful soul who had been there all along, who despite the ups and downs of life, held out hope for a better tomorrow.
My insides swooped, but then I felt the familiar pang: my post-cum swallowing stomach ache. “On one condition.”
His face turned more serious. “Yeah, anything. What’s up?”
I rounded my eyes at him. “I have cummy tummy. I need food.”
Colton’s eyes softened and he struggled to hold back a laugh. “I had forgotten about cummy tummy! You poor thing. Are you okay?”
“I will be once you feed me,” I moaned.
He puffed out his cheeks and tossed his head from side to side as he put the car in drive. “I mean, I kind of already did.”
He cackled when I huffed at him.
“Not semen, you goober. Take me to the drive thru. Hurry up before I puke up your kids.”
Colton snorted down a chuckle a couple times and put the car in drive. He reached to hold my hand. “To the drive thru we go.”
THIRTY
COLTON
OCTOBER | COLUMBUS, OHIO
Late night garbage food consumed,Violet and I got ready for bed at my place. She looked both at home and out of place. The double sink in my bathroom looked strange with her standing in front of it. She was all feminine, soft lines, and my bathroom was dark and masculine, the only light touch a fake white orchid between the two sinks. Violet seemed unaffected by her environment. She had on one of my worn-out t-shirts and it made my heart squeeze. She’d mentioned wanting to wear a broken-in shirt that smelled of boy, andIgave that to her. I, for the night, was that guy for her. She looked through my skin products, opting for a basic lotion after washing her face.
I stood beside her and wrapped my arm around her waist. “You still doing okay? We were kind of rough at the party.”
“The roughness was fine. Fun, actually.” Vi hesitated, twisting her lips. “But I realized when you were undoing your belt that the sound was both hot and . . . scary. I got a flash of that fear, that lack of control.”
My god. Rage scorched my veins. I was going to murderPete Doyle the next time I played against him. I drew a shuddering breath to bring myself back to Violet and what she needed. She was who mattered. Not Pete.
But I would annihilate him, given the chance.
“I can stop wearing a belt. That’s no big deal.”
She shook her head with a sad smile. “No. I don’t think that’s the answer. It’s probably good to get a better association with that sound than . . . yeah. That.”
I pulled her into my arms for a tight hug and kissed her temple. We watched each other in my bathroom mirror. We looked good. I liked that I could wrap my arms all the way around her, that I could fill my palm with her shoulder for that extra touch of comfort. “Thank you for telling me. I know this is hard.”
Her eyes went glassy. “Thank you for doing this with me. You’re a sweet guy, Colt.”
I pressed my lips to the top of her head and left them there for a moment, breathing in her shampoo’s soft scent. I wanted to be more than a sweet guy.
I wanted to betheguy for her.
But I also knew, even if I was never that guy for her, there was nothing that could keep me from hoping for more.
I was forever terrified. She wasn’t running because of sex, or because of her need to stay focused. But could I get her to stay for justme? Could I get her to commit? To own up to this being more than sex and friendship? To it being the ultimate exercise in trust?
No matter what, I’d continue to prove my worth, to be what she needed.
My voice was raspy, choked by everything I couldn’t say for fear of losing her. “Anything you need, baby. I’ll do it.”
