I shook my head and nestled us closer together, her center flush to my stomach where I still knelt in front of her and she sat in the locker. “I don’t need that to be happy.”
She swallowed hard. “I want to do it. For you.”
My hands settled under the jersey on her lower back, and I held her gaze. “I just want you, Violet. Any way I can have you.”
Her eyes rounded and her breathing quickened. Her voice was barely above a whisper. “Even if it’s fake?”
I pinched my lips together and nodded. “If that’s what you need.”
“What about . . . what you need?” Her jaw clenched and her eyes fell between us. “Is it fake for you?”
My throat felt impossibly tight. She was directly asking a question. The answer could make her sprint out that door and never come back. Fear had me in a chokehold. What if I lost her forever? What if I built all this up just to send her away again. “Vi.”
She breathed out hard, tears starting to form in her eyes. I took her hand and brought it to my heart. My pulse thundered under her touch.
“Does this feel fake to you?”
Almost imperceptibly, she shook her head. “No.”
I clamped my jaw so hard it started to quiver. “If I tell you this, you can’t run.”
“Okay,” she breathed. “I won’t.”
“I wanted to give you space. When I called you, I was trying to ask you to date me for real. But I didn’t want you to feel pressured, by me, by my work.” I shook my head. “Since you’ve been back, all I’ve wanted is for you to be mine. But you asked for space, for friendship. So I gave you that. And whenyou asked about fake, I figured that kept the pressure off. I didn’t want you to be with me because you felt like you owed me something. I was willing to wait until it was your choice.”
“How long?” she whispered. “How long would you wait?”
I lifted a shoulder. “I’ve already waited the last three years. What’s another few months?”
“Years?” The word hung in the air.
I nodded. “Years.”
Her gaze darted everywhere. “I haven’t . . . I haven’t been with anyone since you. Since the wedding.”
A wave of relief washed over me. I’d been living on this base instinct: one day, it would be worth it. The waiting. The loneliness. The happy life on hold. And now, it was here. She was just mine, and she had been, even though she walked away from me.
Every sacrifice was worth it.
My eyes felt hot and I had to fight for air. “I haven’t either.”
Violet’s eyes searched the space behind me. “Wh-why? You could have had anyone. I was so bad to you.”
A tear escaped her eye and I wiped it with my thumb, then tucked her hair behind her ear. “Because you’re worth waiting for.”
She smashed me into a kiss so forceful that I groaned, relief spreading through my body. I pressed back against her and squeezed her so hard I could feel her ribs. Our kiss turned voracious, unleashing everything we’d been holding back from each other. Vi’s short nails dug into the space between my shoulder blades. The heels of my hands scraped down her sides, fingers clawed in their wake. Grabbing, gripping, getting any piece of her I could hold. When I released her mouth to tease her neck, she gasped out a few words.
“I know you told me the ribbon stuff, and you said you waited, but I need to be sure. To clarify, this isn’t fake?”
I held her waist and sat back enough to look her in the eye. “No.” I shook my head. “But I was willing to call it fake so maybe one day, it would be real.”
Violet nodded, her eyes going glassy. “Thank you. For waiting again. For being patient.”
I wondered if she could hear my heart pounding. I had to put it all on the line. My eyes flicked over her face, those tear-filled eyes. I realized I had on a soft smile, trying to keep her from being upset, reassuring her when, this time, I was the one who needed the reassurance.
“I need to know, baby. Is this real for you?”
Her nod grew more definitive. A tiny tear streaked down her cheek, but her eyes didn’t leave mine. “It’s real. It’s so fucking real, Colton. All this time, all I’ve wanted is you, but I didn’t trust myself not to hurt you again. But I think I’ve hurt both of us by holding back.”
