And then we never mentioned it after that day.
At the end of that summer, we stood by the tree where we had our first kiss, the blazing heat making me self-conscious about how I smelled. I hated August, because it meant we’d be back to school soon. Back to Brodie pretending I didn’t exist. I understood it at the time. Brodie was older. Brodie was a jock, and I was a nerd. Brodie was in high school, and I was still in middle school.
I fantasized that I’d someday mean more to him. I prayed he’d kiss me again.
He leaned in, and I thought I’d get my moment. Brodie kissed my cheek. “You’re my favorite.”
I was completely taken aback that he’d said something so sweet. I stammered through my response. “Y-yeah. Y-you’re my favorite too.”
The next summer, I didn’t expect him to come back. But there he was, at our usual spot on the day after school let out.
I was now fourteen, and he was sixteen. He had grown. I had grown. I was going into high school. He was going to be a junior.
The kissing returned daily. The hands were steadier. Always an “is this okay?” before he touched me. Fingers tracing underthe hem of my shirt in a way that made me feel like Mentos in Diet Coke.
But better, because the fizzy feelings came from him.
One day, he asked if I’d come over to watch a movie that night and I about perished. We made pit stops at his house. To use the bathroom, or get a snack or drink before heading back out in the woods.
But we didn’thang outat his house.
He was bringing me into his real life. I was finally “in.” I was maybe, possibly, almost going to have a boyfriend. Was I going to lose my virginity? Had Brodie already lost his?
But when I knocked on his door that evening in my favorite t-shirt and my most cool-girl shorts, some other guy from school answered the door. Kyle Connors, the class clown, if one can be a class clown while simultaneously being a Class A asshole. He took one long look from my head to my feet. “Bro, the methhead’s here.”
Methhead? I’d loosely heard some whispers with that word in it at school, but never paid it much mind. Was thatmynickname? Why? Because I spent time in the woods?
Brodie appeared in the doorway and his cheeks flushed red. “What are you doing here?”
I was stunned, mortified, completely ruined. Tears instantly sprang to my eyes. “We were going to watch a movie,” I said in the tiniest voice. “You invited me.”
“Kyle came over first,” he said, like that made it acceptable for him to cancel on me.
“Why would you invite the methhead over?” Kyle guffawed, looking at Brodie like he was the biggest numbskull.
He started to swing the door shut. Brodie gave me the lamest excuse for an apologetic grimace and a microscopic one-shouldered shrug.
Not only did he cancel on me, but Brodie didn’t defend me. He let Kyle Connors call me a cruel name. Brodie spent just as much time in the woods as I did, so by that logic, he’d also be a methhead. He kissed me every single day. Wefeltthings for each other.
But I suppose he’d been pretending, practicing for someone cooler, someone in his social ranks. I didn’t belong in his world.
That’s why he never had me around his house. That’s why we never hung out outside of the woods. I’d made excuse after excuse for him, and I couldn’t do it anymore.
The disappointment and betrayal threatened to completely crush me.
And that’s the moment Brodie Campbell became my worst enemy.
Seeing him in the woods yesterday, a grown man who I was desperately trying not to objectify, brought back all the rose-colored memories.
I felt sorry for him as I drove him to the hospital and he blathered on in my front seat. But the closer we got to the hospital, the more I wanted to get away from him as quickly as possible. I was starting to soften to him, and I couldn’t let myself forget what he did to me.
Then, seeing him in the hardware sto—sorry, it’s a coffee shop now—brought all the hurt between us slamming back into my life. Or I guess, the way I’m still hurt by how he treated me.
And as much as I’d like to live in the woods where everything was always good between us, I don’t.
Granny peeks out the front window at me, interrupting my car moment of peace before I go inside. I paste on a smile and wave. She scowls with a little nod.
Judging already.
