I scan the room for Brodie, remembering that he offered up a date at the firehouse. He’s nowhere to be found.
Probably for the best.
I’m sitting next to Granny, who has also so generously put herself up for auction. Her date? A tour of her dolls. Like she’s a docent and the museum is her weird collection of dolls. I think I’ll probably end up being the only bidder. Skye’s fiancé seems nice. Maybe I could get him to bid. Or one of Iris’s boyfriends. I could entice them with Granny’s lemon pound cake.
I know for a fact that Richard will bid on me because we discussed it over breakfast this morning.
I never attended this event growing up, mostly because I was too young and I thought the whole thing was weird. Now, as an adult, I can see that it’s just a silly little fundraiser and not some twisted way to make people date each other.
But there’s still that little twinge of hope or something adjacent to it with the word “date.” Romance is implied.
Iris steps on the stage with a huge smile, her role as mayor doubling as auctioneer this evening. She looks remarkably pretty herself: bright blue eyes, shiny hair, and the most glowing skin you can imagine on a thirty something.
I guess that’s what orgasms from three guys will do for you.
I’m not even looking for three boyfriends like Iris. I just want an orgasm that’s not self-administered.
Small-town charity fundraiser, Ari.Notactual dates.
“Get those paddles ready, folks. It’s time to win some dates.”
The proceedings get underway. Skye’s fiancé is up first with a stargazing. Apparently no one was going to tell me he’s a doctor of astrophysics.
“This is extortion!” Skye shouts from the back. “I don’t like to share!”
“Sharing is fun!” comes a shout from someone in Iris’s crew.
“Then I guess you’d better bid,” Iris says into the microphone, getting a laugh from the room. “After all, he’s legally still single.”
“That’s the father of my children you’re talking about!” Skye says.
Simon gives her a wink and blows a kiss from the stage, and Iris starts the bidding. Skye and Mindy’s mom, Mrs. Kumar, get into a bid-off. “I like the stars,” Mrs. Kumar objects. “He knows a lot!”
“Four-hundred dollars!” Skye shouts, which is two-hundred more than the last bid. Simon rounds his eyes at her, making a slicing motion across his neck. Mindy’s mom gives Skye mercy for her extravagant bid, winning at $405. It’s customary for the winner of an auction to get a hug or high five or some sign of affection from the person they’ve “won.” Simon proceeds to Mrs. Kumar’s seat to give her a very ass-out hug. Skye glowers on from the shadows, and one of Iris’s meteorologist boyfriends elbows her side. I thought Skye was scary when I was a kid, and I still haven’t fully reversed that opinion.
Mindy’s up next, and as a beloved figure in the town, her race is hot. “Plus,” Iris adds, “you get plenty of sweet treats with this one.”
The person who won’t back down bidding on Mindy is Sue, the firefighter from the thirst traps. Mindy looks both thrilled and flabbergasted.
“Sold to our fearless firefighter Sue!” Iris declares, as Mindy leaves the stage and heads to give Sue a hug. Mindy kisses Sue’s cheek, and Sue’s blush is the most adorable thing I’ve ever seen. “And on the firefighter note, here comes another smokin’ hot date with our fire captain, Brodie Campbell! Brodie’s lucky date will go on a tour of the firehouse and get to?—”
Iris cuts off with a cackle and has to fan her face.
“Ride the pole!” Sue shouts from the crowd.
Iris covers her face with both hands and wipes a tear. “Yep. That. Brodie, come on up.”
My sweaty palms start to itch, and I bunch my hands into fists and scratch them. My breathing feels shallow. Heads turn in the crowd, everyone looking for Brodie.
“Is Brodie not here?” Iris asks. “He must have gotten called away. Okay, well, it’s his turn, so here we go!”
Bids fly in alarmingly fast. All these people want to spend time with Brodie? My fingers curl around my paddle. I should bid. I need to bid.
I shouldn’t bid. He wasn’t even sorry for how he treated me! He made an excuse. Out loud! To my face!
But then I think of the way he looked at me in that video after I fell on him and bile rises in my throat. The sweet way he used to kiss me. The gentle way he touched me. The way he held himself back from being the animal that I’m sure he wanted to be.
Some demonic, desperate voice claws from within me, insisting that Brodie Campbell ismine.
