“He likes when I feel good, no matter who’s driving the truck,” Becca sings.
“You know what? I love that for you. That’s pretty sweet,” I say. Becca responds with a barely-stifled moan. “Okay, well, don’t let me keep you. Have fun.”
I step into the bedroom considering the irony that my friends are fucking in my shower like it’s nothing and I’m declining a nap with Jake.
Perhaps I really am too uptight.
* * *
Bri and Beccafinished their shower with a nap in the hammock outside, and I finished my nap with a shower.
With a fresh dress on and my hair washed and air drying, I step back outside. Most of my family is scattered between the orchard and setting up for dinner, and I know Maggie would have my head if I tried to help too much with dinner. She made it clear that I need to take it easy, especially after working myself sick this week.
I let my feet take me where they will and end up at the dock by the pond. I slip off my socks and boots and skim my feet over the water, too short to fully submerge them and stay out of the sun.
My mind wanders, absorbing the last five weeks of my life. Breaking off my engagement. Leaving Raleigh. Leaving an entire life behind.
The aftermath.
I don’t want to dwell on it too long, though. What I have around me, here and now, is beautiful. My cousins are working on building a fire for s’mores. A cheer sounds when one of my toddler cousins swings a bat at a tee and makes contact. I hear the vague echoes of Bill’s voice, comparing RV specs with my dad.
If I stay here, this could be life.
Steps thunk on the dock and a familiar voice comes from beside me. “Mind if I join you?”
Jake stands further down the dock, changed from his earlier shorts and t-shirt into his usual boots, jeans, hat, and t-shirt. His legs look so long from where I sit on the ground. “Nah, come on over.”
He sits, pulling his boots off by the heel and hanging his hat on a dock peg. He cuffs his jeans so they don’t get wet. His feet have no issue going under the water. “Your legs are a little longer than mine.”
“They are,” he agrees, then hesitates, eying me sidelong. I have a feeling he’s not interested in small talk.
“Have a good nap?”
“Yeah. You?” He swishes his feet through the water, watching ours side by side.
“Yeah. Becca and Bri were banging in my shower, though.”
Jake coughs a laugh, then pinches his temples. “Wait, what?”
“Uh huh. I guess the bar night was successful and they were having another round after picking this morning.”
Jake looks a little stunned. “And Becca’s boyfriend?”
“Likes Becca to feel good any way possible,” I finish.
Jake bobs his head. “That’s . . . really generous. I’m impressed. Good for them.”
I shrug. “That’s what I said.”
There’s another beat of silence, Jake’s focus going to my knees. His voice is strained when he says my name. “Darcy, I’m really sorry for talking to Rob and blocking his number when you didn’t want me to. I shouldn’t have messed with your phone.”
The mention of Rob’s name makes me stiffen. I squeeze my eyes shut. I want to forgive Jake. I should. He goes on.
“I see how what I did wasn’t what you needed. I thought I was saving you some grief, but you didn’t want that.”
I huff a morose laugh. “Oh, I want that. I’d love to be free of him. But cutting off his lines of communication probably made everything worse. I have this ominous sense of dread like he could show up anytime, anywhere.” I shake my head. “And that happened because you tried to control things on your own when it’s my life that gets affected. I’d even said I couldn’t block him earlier and you seemed to get it.”
Jake shifts his weight onto his hands behind him. “I know. I should have talked to you about it and gotten your permission.”
