“I’ll help you,” Jake says, following me.
“I don’t need help,” I throw behind me, trying desperately to get him to leave me alone with my mortification. I want to lick my wounds in private.
“Darcy,” Jake calls, catching up to me. “Hey. Stop. You alright?”
“Fine,” I say without turning my face. In the tack room, I grab my work gloves and rush back out, running into his chest. God, he’s a mountain of a man.
“Darce.”
“What.” I mean to say it with attitude, but it comes out all weak and wobbly.
Firm, warm hands land on my upper arms. “You’re all wet.”
“It’s raining,” I mumble.
He snorts softly. “I see that.” His hat appears where my gaze is lowered and he shakes it off, as if to demonstrate how wet it is out. He rests it on his outer thigh but doesn’t move otherwise, waiting for something. Waiting for me to get it together. But I can’t. Today broke me, and it’s not even 8 a.m. My breathing quickens, fighting the leak in my emotional dam. I don’t want to have a panic attack now—that would just add to the list of ways Jake has seen me unable to function. My throat tightens again and the words spill from me.
“I feel like a joke,” I squeak out.
Jake’s eyes round and his mouth falls open. His next word is whispered. “What?”
I suck a choppy breath. “I don’t know what I’m doing out here. I thought I had it all under control, and I don’t, and I’m stuck like this all summer, and this place is falling apart. And by some working of the devil, you always show up right when I’m messing something up, just to make sure I have an audience.”
I quiver harder, feeling lightheaded. I’m spiraling, falling apart in front of someone I’m so tired of falling apart in front of. Rob’s voice starts to play in my head when Jake wraps one strong arm around my shoulders and crushes me to his chest.
And he just holds me. His shirt is wet, but his skin’s warmth pushes through. His voice is gravelly when he speaks again. “I’m never going to judge you for being human. You’re allowed to make mistakes. And anyway, Cane’s an asshole. I’ve still got the bruise to prove it.”
“He likes you,” I whimper.
“We’re developing an understanding, asshole to asshole.” Jake hugs me tighter, wrapping the arm holding his hat to my opposite hip. “It involves a lot of mint bribery.”
I laugh and sniffle, then sigh. “I know he used to be a barrel horse, but he doesn’t act like it.”
Jake chuckles. “Must be why he likes me. I used to race. He smells it on me.”
I tip my chin up to look at him. “That tracks.”
“I don’t want to know what that means,” he says. “I think you’re mocking me though.”
“Nah,” I sigh, then let my ear rest against his chest. I admit the thing that’s been weighing heaviest on me. “Bill and Maggie only gave me this job because they felt sorry for me.” Agitation builds in me again, an itchy feeling in my arms. “I don’t know what I’m doing. I’ve been away so long working a desk job and I tricked myself into thinking this would be fine. Everything’s going to shit! You know it. That’s why you give me shit all the time. You don’t think women can run a farm, and look! You’re right!”
He has a smirk when he pushes me back and holds me by the shoulders. “You know I never said that, boss.”
I add a dopey layer to my tearful voice. “Where’s Bill? Why isn’t he the boss?”
Jake rolls his eyes and chuckles. “You know what? You’re right. That’s exactly what I sound like.” He arranges his voice into the ridiculous pitch I used. “Darcy’s so bad at making sure everything gets done and works fifteen-hour days to take care of everything. She’s so lazy.”
“You know what I mean,” I scoff, wiping under my eyes.
“Hey.” He jostles me, both hands on my shoulders still. “You’re doing it. You don’t need me to tell you that. It’s all working out because you’re making that happen. You are not doing a bad job.”
I sulk. “I know better than to walk two horses at a time, especially with a storm coming in.”
He tips his head to the side. “That, you’re right, may not have been the smartest move. But I think it’s a sign I need to get up and help you. I’m the horse guy after all. If you can wait for me in the mornings, we can go together. It’ll be our morning walk and talk. Face time with the boss.”
With a little smirk that shows off those fucking dimples, he swipes my cheek with his thumb. I can’t deny that he’s got the tenderest heart, and it makes me melt a little.
Or he’s just full of shit.
