* * *
“Come on in.”Jake holds my hand tight while he flips on the lights in the robotics lab. “Anybody here?”
I giggle, an attempt to have fun despite being torn up inside. “Probably not if the lights were off.”
He shrugs. “I don’t know. I don’t want to scare anybody who likes to work in the dark.”
I survey my surroundings, taking in a few workstations and a number of things that look like robots in progress. In one corner, I see a fake tree with a tall machine next to it. I point to it. “That one yours?”
“Yep. That’s the picker.”
I walk up to it like it’s a sculpture in a museum, hands behind my back. Jake’s standing nervously by, watching my reaction. “Wow. So how does it work?”
“Well, I was supposed to be able to use it before peach season ended, but that didn’t work out. That one stupid part still isn’t here. But I’ll show you the rest.”
Jake opens a door to show me the control panel and talks me through its operation. I’m no expert, and I knew Jake was smart, but I didn’t know he was this smart. Here I’ve been using my quick wit for marketing and fanfic, and he uses it for machines to make the world better.
“And you’ve just been working on this over the summer?”
He tips his head from side to side. “More or less. Drew up the plans in the spring, built it this summer so it wouldn’t mess with my teaching and course load this fall. Wanted to be able to focus and hopefully graduate on time.”
I shake my head, eyes welling. “You are so fucking smart.”
He chuckles, crossing his arms over his chest. “Thank you.”
His intelligence isn’t an issue in our relationship, but his intelligence in this location where there’s not much chance of him becoming gainfully employed is. We don’t need two of us to have wasted master’s degrees. He’s wasting his time with me. He’s destined for bigger things.
And I’d just hold him back. Keep his brilliance from the world.
Unless I went back to Raleigh. He’d probably be able to get a job there, but even though I miss things about life there, I don’t think that’s what I want anymore. Does that make me selfish?
I work around the lump rising in my throat to speak. “So you can’t turn it on until the last part comes?”
“Allegedly first week of September.”
I smile up at him. “Can I come see when you turn it on?”
Jake looks touched and reaches for my hand. “I’d love that. It’s been weird having two very different lives all summer. One’s far more frustrating than the other. But I’m glad to share it with you now. It’s kind of surreal having you here.”
I’m scrambling for things to say that aren’tyou should break up with me. “So this is where you are when you’re not with me.”
Jake nods, looking around. “About to be here a whole lot more. But just a few months. Then I’ll graduate.”
I furrow my brow. “Then what?”
He pulls me into his side and kisses the top of my head. “Still floating on the breeze, boss. We’ll land where we land.”
Wait, is he going to dump me first? Here I am thinking I need to let him go, and he might already know that. He could be just hanging onto me for the convenience, with plans to dump me before New Year’s.
I thought he was ready to put down roots.
But I also don’t want him to be ready to do that. I don’t want to rob him of the best years of his life.
Silence has fallen between us, and I wrap my arms around Jake’s middle.
“So, this will make life easier for your mom?”
“That’s the idea,” he says, his hand traveling idly up and down my arm. “And for your family.”
