I don’t really know what to say. There’s a lot to unpack with everything that just happened. Every bit of it is exhausting. Jake’s letting me sit with it, and it seems like his mind’s elsewhere too. It’s only about seven when Jake pulls up to the homeplace.
“They probably won’t be back for a while. You need company?”
I wince. “I think I might need a little time to myself.”
Jake’s expression is hard to read. “Sure.”
“I’m sorry. I know you just beat a guy up for me and I should probably be grateful and crawling all over you, but?—”
“Hey,” Jake says, putting a hand over mine. “You don’t need to explain yourself. Take what you need.”
I lean to kiss his cheek, which he accepts then turns to face me more fully. “Thank you,” I whisper, then kiss his big soft lips.
Jake’s smile when we pull apart is wry. “You know where to find me.”
* * *
There’sa gentle knock at my door. I’ve been lying on my bed with my legs up the wall in a t-shirt and soft shorts since I got back.
“Special delivery,” Maggie sings, flourishing a Taco Bell bag around the door.
I gasp and sit up. “No way.”
“I knew there’s no way in hell you were eating somebody’s potato salad after it’d been out in the sun all day.” She comes to sit on my bed. “And I knew you’s a mess after all that.”
“Confirmed mess,” I say.
Maggie smirks. “Surprised there’s not a naked man in here, but I seen his truck was gone when I got back.”
A chill comes over me. “He left?”
“He’s back now. Looked like he got himself a little trashy dinner too.”
“I think he’s earned a little trashy after punching out my ex.”
Maggie shakes her head as I dig into my crunchwrap. “Gotta say, you need to nail down a man who’s willing to fight for you.”
“I know. I just don’t know if I want him wrapped up in all of this.”
“Pfft. All of what?”
“My rebrand. My identity crisis. My Saturn return. Whatever we’re calling this,” I say, wiping a dab of nacho cheese from the corner of my lips and sucking it off my thumb like a mongrel.
“I don’t know if you get a choice, sis. He cares about you.”
I snort. “I care about him too. God knows. But I care about him enough to know I’d just drag him down.”
“You’re too hard on yourself, honey. Always have been.” Maggie scoots closer to me and lowers her voice. “You want to know what I think?”
“What?”
“I know you and your folks don’t see eye to eye, but you’ve still got a lot of them in you.”
I recoil and she laughs.
“You had to grow up too soon, but there’s something to be said for embracing your wild. You’re almost thirty. Be wild. If you’re not going to now, you’ll never start.”
“I’m wild,” I object.
