“It’s really okay,” he chuckled. “It’s kind of a cult.”
Something more uncomfortable settled in as I processed the details of Jack’s family, and I looked up at Jack to find him searching my face. “What?”
“Jack, you’re not . . . taking care of me because of some shit with your brother, right?”
“What? No.”
“I don’t want to be some atonement for some perceived past mistake.”
“Mara, that’s not why we’re here.”
“Then why?”
His hand landed on my upper arm, his thumb brushing over my shoulder. “You make everything around you brighter. My kids.” He swallowed and rolled his lips between his teeth. “Me. And selfishly, I want more of that. I want you close.”
All this from a man who would never love me. I mentally called bullshit right then.
Jack’s voice showed his insecurity on his next statement. “I just hope you’re getting something out of this.”
I rested my hand under his ear, making sure he met my eyes. “I am. You’re a good man, Jack Leroy.”
He ground his teeth. “I’m really not. You saw me at the hospital.”
I lifted a brow. “That wasn’t great. But you were sticking up for me.”
Jack seemed so deeply sad. “I’m messed up, Mara. I . . . I have a dark side.”
I rubbed my lips together. “What are you saying?”
He hesitated. “Aren’t you afraid of me?”
I flapped my mouth, trying to find the right words. “Should I be afraid?”
He chewed his lower lip. “I don’t know. I just get really defensive when it comes to my people.”
“That’s not necessarily a bad thing.” I laced my fingers with his. “I’ll tell you if I get scared.”
Jack’s warm, deep brown eyes searched mine, clearly needing more.
“Would it make you feel better if we had an exit plan?” I asked.
Jack’s breath stopped. “Like . . . to not be married anymore?”
“Yeah. Do we have a rip cord we can pull if everything’s going south?”
Jack’s voice went gravelly. “Yeah. We should. I mean, we both had communication issues with our exes. Not this time,though. No lies. We stay honest. If something’s not working, we say it. Even if it sucks. Even if it’s ugly. Even if it’s that your farts stink or you don’t like fucking me?—”
“Again, who said we’re fucking?” I asked, raising up on an elbow. “You are making so many assumptions.”
“The way you kiss me. The way you licked my cock, Mara. We’d be fools not to at least try.”
I leveled him with a look. “But we’re not falling in love?”
“Nope. No love. Just two adults having sex and being married. And raising kids together.”
I shook my head. “I’m not sure married fuck buddies is a thing.”
He had an absolute panty-melter of a smile on. “First time for everything.”
