“Come here.” I wrapped her up in a tight hug, and her arms banded around my back. “One thing at a time. You lived. That’s the most important thing.”
She let out a watery laugh against my chest. “Yes. I lived.” Then she fell silent again. “What about my kids, Jack? What if I had died? If we’re married, you’re probably the next in line to be their guardian. And they could be just like me.”
I drew back so she could see my face. “I’m okay with that. I mean, not with you dying, but if the worst happened, I’m okay with being their dad.”
She sniffled and sucked in a choppy breath. “They could be just like me, Jack. Like this.” She gestured to the bed around her.
“I can handle them. I can handle this.”
Her eyes watered. “Jack, you assaulted medical staff. I don’t think you can handle this.”
My stomach dropped. I nodded because she was right. I did the opposite of handling it. It was like a switch flipped in my body and I had no control. And I hadn’t felt like that in a long, long time. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I’m fucked up, Mara. I don’t want to lie to you and say I’m not. When I care about somebody, it’s like I have to protect them at all costs. And I get it if you don’t want that, and you don’t want to marry me because of that.”
She looked up into my eyes, rolling her lips between her teeth. “That’s part of what makes you such a good dad, Jack. You protect what you lo—care about.”
“Nice save,” I chuckled.
“Well, you do love your kids, even if you won’t ever love me.”
I held her close, her scratchy hospital gown open in the back and allowing me to touch her skin. I wanted to tell her: I cared about her. It unsettled me, but at the same time, it was also the most natural thing in the world. Nothing made it clearer than the way I dropped everything to help her.
And it wasn’t just when she was in trouble. I couldn’t stop myself from wanting her at my game. From wanting her at my house for Harper’s birthday. From feeling more settled when she was under my roof.
There was no way around it. I cared about Mara.
That’s why I couldn’t stop myself from kissing the top of her head, and she nuzzled into me harder. “Can I get you one of those alert bracelets or something?” I asked.
“Instead of marrying you? Sure.”
I sighed, and Mara laughed. She loved irritating me. “For when I’m not around after you marry me.”
“If I want to,” she teased, but that part needed emphasis from me.
“I’m serious about that part, Mar. We can figure out something else if getting married doesn’t work for you. I can help you until you get back on your feet.”
She shook her head. “That is so not your job.”
I held us nose to nose and she actually looked happy for a second. “I’ve got a big nose. I like sticking it where it doesn’t belong.”
Mara let out this throaty, raspy laugh that under different circumstances would have made my pants tighten. But instead it just reminded me of the stakes. If things had gone even slightly differently, Mara might not have been here at all.
Feelings surged through me: protectiveness, concern, care, and some lurking feeling I couldn’t define.
We were still wrapped up in each other, her head tipped back to look at me. I drank her in: sparkling blue eyes flicking over my face, her bangs somehow still intact despite everything she’d been through, those heart-shaped red lips. “I’m really glad you lived. I like having you around.”
Mara feigned shock. “I was previously told you don’t like anyone. Especially not hockey moms.”
I shook my head and she cackled. “Brat.”
She puffed out her bottom lip and batted her lashes. “Be nice to me. I’m sick.”
“You came to the wrong place if you want nice.”
“I don’t believe you,” she hummed. “You’re such a softie for me.”
With my thumb on her chin, I tapped her lips with my finger. “What do I have to do to get you to shut your fucking mouth, Mara?”
A beat. The space between before and after. The pulse between a world before Mara and all the majesty that came after. Eyes glowing, breath held, lips parted with the slightest smirk.
