Mara’s chuckle was raspy and husky. “I wish it was that easy. Gabi always wants me to get high, but I’m still nursing Hazel.”
“Oh, so you need weed money?”
Mara groaned. “No. I’m fine. Just going to take a Tylenol PM and knock out.”
“Alright. Thanks for . . . this.”
“Thanks for calling, Jackie. Congrats again. I’m proud of you, even if I don’t really know if 500 is a lot of points or not. It feels like a lot.”
“Kinda.” I wanted to come up with more things to say just to hear her talk more. “Hope you feel better.”
“Thanks. Go have some fun. Night, Jackie.”
“Night, Mar.”
TWENTY-TWO
MARA
NOVEMBER
I’m a lot of things.A mom. A divorcée. A person with a chronic illness or twelve. A little flighty in a way that could probably be diagnosed, but I was tired of my “collect-them-all!” diagnosis record.
But what I’m not is good at math, or good at calculating when a food that isn’t worth it is going to set me into a bad episode.
My body chemistry fluctuates so much on a daily basis, every day a gamble of the chemical stew.
Being a grocery buyer affords you certain privileges. Companies are constantly kissing your ass and sending free samples, so my office was more of a desk with two chairs and a series of shelves around it, completely jam-packed with boxes of samples of everything from nut assortments to granola bars to fresh juice pouches (which don’t even make sense, but someone tried it).
On this day, I had tomato-based Indian food for lunch, which while absolutely delicious and typically worth it, tended to send my body into overdrive. I’d say I knew better, but under the rightcircumstances, I tolerated it decently with just a little joint pain the next day.
It was so, so tasty and comforting after a stressful shitty week, just what I needed after Bryce pissed me off and my pain was turned up.
I thought I was in the clear with my system’s pain overreaction, but it was less than an hour before my body’s dashboard lights started going off. Heartburn, joint pain, sluggishness, and being so tired I could have laid my head down on my desk. I wasn’t going to make it through the workday.
Sometimes eating something else and giving my body something else to do with its time helps. I grabbed a packet of nuts, thinking it was almonds. I opened the package and fished out a few nuts. There were almonds, yes, but also pecans and walnuts, which can be a real risk for me.
Still, if I just avoided the problem nuts, I’d probably be fine. I’d never had a problem with cross-contamination reactions in the past. And right at that moment, Kai from our main office appeared in my doorway.
“Hey, Kai!” I said, my voice sounding unusual. I cleared my throat and tried again, pressing my fist to my chest. “Hey. What brings you over here?”
With a wince and a grimace, Kai stepped inside my office and closed the door. His eyes darted all over the office. The vibe was off. Kai was usually super jovial with me, once even getting a drink with me and spilling out how much April annoys him.
He gulped, and I did too. “How have you been?” he squeaked.
“Okay. You?” I gave him a skeptical look. “What’s going on?”
“Mara, I wish I didn’t have to do this.”
My already tight throat felt tighter. I pushed another nut in my mouth, quickly spitting it out into the trash can under my desk because it was a walnut. I took a big gulp of water, which took a second to get down. “Sorry. What’s happening?”
“Mara . . .” His eyes glazed over. “We have to let you go.”
“What?” I whispered.
“Having your kids here, it’s . . . it’s a liability and April . . . you have to understand this wasn’t my decision.”
“Okay.” I nodded and went to swallow again. “I’ll just get my things I guess.”
