Anger started to build in me. “I don’t need your pity, Jack. I have my own insurance.”
“But you don’t have time to go to the doctor, do you?”
“Well, neither does any other working single mom,” I huffed.
“Okay, well, you’re the working single mom sitting in front of me, and I think you’d be good for my kids. There’s nothing wrong with taking advantage of a better situation just because other people are suffering. It’s okay to take care of yourself. And it’s not like I’m doing some charitable deed and patting myself on the back for it. It’s a mutually beneficial proposal.”
My mouth hung open. He had a point. At first, I pegged this for some ableist do-gooder bullshit, but if anyone were never to be charitable or self-congratulatory, it’s Jack.
I laughed, a full belly laugh. “Look, I know people do this in movies and stuff, but I still want to save marriage for love.”
“Your kids would have a dad.” Jack’s voice was more serious. That was a machete of a sentence, slicing me clean in half at the waist.
“Jesus, Jack.” I shook my head and stood, wrapping the blanket around my shoulders and pacing. “You’re making a lot of assumptions.”
“You said yourself that Aspen misses his dad.”
“Yeah,hisdad, Jack.Hisdad let him down. Plus, what’s he going to think when his new dad who’s his best friend’s dad goes out cheating on his mom?”
Jack sat up straight, turning very serious. “I wouldn’t cheat on you, Mara.”
I raised my eyebrows at him. “You wouldn’t be out shopping for some young thing to drain your balls or whatever it is you guys say?”
“We don’t say that,” he said, his brow lowering. “And no. I just manage things on my own. I’m never going to love again, so why bother with all that?”
I turned to face him full-on. “And I need love to get married. My first marriage was a failure, but . . . I still hold out hope that someone’s out there waiting to love me.” I was starting to rant,getting worked up and stalking toward him. “Once the kids are gone, what will I have? I want my next marriage to be someone who’ll go all the way to the end and not give up on me just because my body gives up.”
I hated how choked up my voice sounded. I hated admitting that was why Bryce really left. I became inconvenient. That whole “in sickness and health” thing just didn’t apply when it came down to it.
Jack leaned forward and gripped my fingers in his hand, a gentle touch. “Mara, I can’t promise you love, but I’d take care of you. Okay?”
“Everyone says they’ll stick around until it counts,” I said, a single tear streaking down my cheek.
Well, this was embarrassing. I was crying in the backyard of my son’s best friend’s dad, who was a famous hockey player. Cool. Great look, Mara.
Jack’s thumb rubbed across my knuckles. “I’m sorry for what he did to you.” His voice was hardly audible over the crackle of the fire, but I heard it all the same. “You didn’t deserve that.”
“Apparently, no one’s keeping track of what we deserve.”
Jack squeezed my hand a little harder. “I’m trying to.”
“That’s not your responsibility,” I said. “You don’t need to right the wrongs of the universe.”
He tugged on my hand to make me look at him. “Why not me?”
I couldn’t come up with a good answer. “I don’t know.”
I went back to my perch on the couch, arranging the blanket over me again.
Pull it together, Mara.
I stared into the fire, letting my thoughts roam free. I got agitated again, needing to pick apart every tenet of his little scheme. “What about the kids? What would us beingtogether for business teach them about love and marriage and commitment?”
He tossed his head from side to side. “I can’t promise love, but . . . we could have a little fun together. Be affectionate and stuff. You know. Meet those needs.”
I cocked my head. “What are you saying?”
Jack’s lips had a slight curve to them despite the bruising and split on them. “We’re friends. What would be so wrong about, you know, getting physical?”
