SEVENTEEN
MARA
NOVEMBER
Jack was doinghis best to make my family comfortable at his house. He cobbled together pajamas and sweats for all of us, and I happened to have a couple of pajama sets for Hazel in the diaper bag. I was rocking Hazel in the guest room recliner, preparing to put her down in the pack and play Jack left out for her.
The soothing tenor of Jack’s voice drifted from the next room where he was reading the older kids a book. Occasionally, giggles accompanied it when he changed his voice for a character. It was just for a night, and it wasn’t home, but it was really relaxing to have the help of a second parent. There was something cozy about all of us under one roof, and his kids really were sweeties.
Hazel’s eyelids were drooping, but she wasn’t fully asleep yet. I sang her special song, just a little thing I made up when she was a tiny baby. Aspen had one too, a totally different song that was just for him. I’m no singer-songwriter, but my kids liked it.
Jack walked past the bedroom and into what I assumed was his own, a door closing behind him.
Hazel was finally out, so I stood to put her down. Jack appeared in the doorway in dark blue sweatpants and a white undershirt. I was steeling myself to bend and lay Hazel in the pack-and-play when Jack appeared at my side.
“Can I?” he whispered. “Save your back.”
Look, I got by on my own. I could have done it, but it would have hurt. And I’m sorry, but who would I have been to refuse a beaten-up, tatted-up ripped single dad who wanted to save my back from hurting?
“Sure.”
Jack carefully scooped Hazel out of my arms, shushing her as he held her to his chest for a second.
“Night, little girl,” he whispered before lowering her into her bed for the night.
I didn’t have long to swoon because a sad cry came from the next bedroom. Jack and I looked at each other and rushed to poke our heads in.
It was Aspen, sitting next to Harper’s bed by himself, tears all over his face. “Baby boy,” I cooed, taking his hand and helping him up. “Let’s talk in the hall.”
Jack stood back, letting me take charge. “I’ll go build us a fire outside, Mara. Come get me or text me if you need anything.”
I nodded to let him go. I sat on the floor in front of Aspen and he plopped into my lap. “What’s going on, buddy?”
He sniffed and huffed until he could get out a clear sentence. “I m-m-miss Daddy.”
“Oh, baby.” I held Aspen close, rocking us. “I’m so sorry.”
I was sorry. I was sorry I’d chosen Bryce to have kids with because he was the flake who left us like this. One of Bryce’s excuses when he left was that Aspen wouldn’t remember him.
Aspen remembered.
I didn’t miss Bryce for who he was to me, but I missed him for who he was to Aspen. No one would ever replace that for him.
“What made you think of Daddy?”
He sniffed and coughed again, gasping through his pathetic sobs. “Why do Harper and Jace get their daddy and I don’t get mine?”
I cupped his head in my hand and held him closer. “It’s not fair, buddy. I’m so sorry.”
“Their daddy’s so nice,” he wailed.
My first instinct was to laugh because since when was Jack Leroy nice?
But then again, he’d been nothing but sweet to Aspen. He wasn’t outwardly nice, but he was kind when it counted.
“He is, isn’t he?” I kissed Aspen’s cheek. “Did he do good reading the story?”
“Uh huh. He had a funny voice for the bear hunt book.”
