I didn’t quite know how to read that. “I know it’s not easy. They do love you.”
Syd picked at her thumbnail. “I love them too.” She rolled her lips between her teeth. “But I’m not sure I had them for the right reasons.”
My brow furrowed. “What do you mean?”
She wouldn’t meet my eyes. “I just thought it was what I was supposed to do. Marry the athlete. Have his babies. Keep the athlete life.”
My lips fell open.
“Don’t look at me like that,” she snapped. “I know it’s bad.”
“Syd, I know you try to be a good mom.”
“But I’m not,” she said, pinching her lips together. “I know I’m not. They need so much and it’s just . . . hard for me to do. I’m not a natural at it.”
I gripped her hand on the table. “Hey. That doesn’t change that you’re their mom. You do love them, right?”
“Yes. I’m not a monster,” she grumbled. “I already said that.”
I lifted my hand from hers and held it up. “Just trying to make a point.”
Sydney still looked so profoundly sad.
“I’m not trying to take them from you.”
“I know.” She swallowed hard and met my eyes under her ballcap. “I just wish I was better for them.”
I chuckled. “I think we all wish that as parents.”
Her eyes softened. “But you’re a good dad.”
“Can you say that for the record?” I teased, and she laughed. “How’s the dentist boyfriend?”
She snorted. “He’s alright. Making me work in his office, but it’s not so bad. How’s the wife?”
“She’s really great. I hope you can see that someday.”
Syd shrugged. “I’m sorry we didn’t work out. I don’t think you’re a bad person.”
I clutched her hand one more time. “I don’t think you are either. As long as you’re trying, that’s the best you can do.”
She laughed. “Don’t go all soft on me.”
“It’s disgusting, right? I’m so soft now.”
“You know what, Jack?” she said. “It suits you.”
Before I headedto the airport for Ohio, Mara and I had one last piece of business to settle.
“We can do this,” I said to Mara, squeezing her hand.
We were at her divorce attorney’s office. We explained our situation, or rather, the situation I created and the risk. She came up with a solution that would work to protect us and alleviate some of the worry while we headed for our new life in Ohio.
Bryce’s face was already on a screen where he was dialing in to the meeting. He wore a button-down and khakis and looked like a huge nerd if I’m being honest. But then I saw the crutches next to his chair and realized I probably didn’t need to shit on him any more than I already had.
Mara and I sat on the opposite side of the table and her attorney spoke first. “We’re here to officially settle some of the complaints between Mr. Canton and Mrs. Leroy.”
I squeezed Mara’s knee under the table.
