I stood behind him and put one hand on his lower back. I lifted the riding crop, charging all my might into my arm. I was going to make him pay. Jack couldn’t love me and he ruined my life. I was fine before Jack Leroy came along and I’d be fine after I left him in a beaten pulp on the floor. He was a monster, and he needed to suffer.
But then the tears came. “I shouldn’t. I shouldn’t do this when I’m mad.” I stood with the crop in my hand, a strap-on protruding from my hips, sobbing.
“I need you to punish me, Mara. I screwed up so bad.”
“I guess so,” I seethed. “You screwed up bad enough that we have to pick up our whole lives and go?”
“Can I stand up, ma’am?” Jack asked.
“Yes.”
Jack stood and hugged me. I hated that he soothed me, that being around him made me feel better. I hated that I calmed at the rhythm of his breath, the beat of his heart.
We stayed like that for a good minute or so before Jack spoke. “Mara, I’m going to tell you what I did and if you want to turn me in, I get it. I fucked up, really bad.”
I sighed, fresh tears brimming in my eyes. “Did you kill someone, Jack?”
His Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed. “I’m not sure.”
My brow creased and my eyes widened, stepping back from him. “You don’t know?”
Jack held my wrists. “Mara, Bryce is here. In California.”
I stumbled backward, sitting on the edge of the bed. “What?”
Jack sat next to me and turned so we faced each other. Was it slightly weird that I was in a bra and strap-on and he was naked? Yes, yes it was. But he started to talk.
“I saw him at the kids’ hockey practice back in December. He cheered for Aspen and said his name, and that’s when Irecognized him. I chased him into the parking lot and I jumped on his car to try and trap him there. But he took off and that’s when I got the cuts on my hands and knees.”
I was trembling, gasping for air. “He was here, and you didn’t tell me?”
“I didn’t want to bring you a problem. I wanted to fix it and bring you a solution.”
I was still reeling, taking in all the details. “He’s not in Nepal.”
Jack shook his head. “No, baby. He’s been here. But that’s not all. After he upset Aspen on his birthday, I kind of lost my shit, you know? I couldn’t stand that he hurt Aspen, and you. I couldn’t let it go. I hated him for it. And from that bird call when he called, I could tell where he was.”
I hiccuped and almost laughed. “A bird is what told you where he was?”
Jack shook his head. “Yeah. That’s me for ya. It was a Catalina California quail. So I . . . I hired a private investigator to find him for sure. And then the day I went?—”
“Fishing?” I asked.
He nodded and went on. “Yep. I was on Catalina all day. And I wasn’t sure what I was going to do to him when I found him, but I ended up kinda blacking out and he fought back and . . . I stabbed him.”
I gasped and jumped back from Jack. “Where?”
“In a tent?”
“No, on his body, Jack.”
“Oh, um. On the outside of his leg. But he was going to kill me.”
I screwed up my face. “But you searched him out!”
Jack buried his face in his hands. “I know it’s bad, Mara. And it felt like it did with that kid.”
I searched his eyes. “Who insulted your brother?”
