“And your parents had to focus on your brother,” I said.
“Yeah. And even before the accident, he was the center of attention. The bigger talent. The bigger deal.”
“So you didn’t have much unconditional love.”
Jack was quiet for a long time, his fingers idly combing through my wet hair. “Except Papi.”
I put my hand on his knee where it popped up next to me. “I’m glad you had Papi.”
“Me too,” he said. “And I’m sorry it’s hard for me to see that you’re not Sydney. I know you’re not, but certain things set meoff. Yesterday it just felt like the pattern was repeating itself. I was scared.”
I nodded. “I get it.” I reached for his arms and wrapped them around me in the front. “Thanks for talking to me.”
“How do you do it? Don’t I remind you of Bryce?”
I gave that some thought. “The only real thing you two have in common is hockey.”
“And being assholes,” Jack said.
I laughed. “Sure. But not in the same way. You’re an asshole on behalf of others. He’s an asshole on behalf of himself.”
“I shouldn’t be an asshole at all,” he said, sounding really upset. “I guess I’m pretty fucked up.”
“Pfft. We all are,” I said, making him laugh. “I have some weird superstition that I have to keep shaking off.”
“Don’t walk under ladders?” Jack asked, getting some conditioner in his hands and working it into my hair.
“No. My mom’s first marriage, to my dad, he left, you know. Like, the classic went out for cigarettes and never came back.”
“That’s a real thing?” Jack said.
“Unfortunately, yes, for some of us it has been real.” His fingers felt nice sliding along my shoulders. “So anyway, when she met my stepdad, it’s like her second marriage was just destined to be perfect. So in a way, I hoped my second marriage would be the same.”
“I’ve never heard you talk to your mom,” Jack said.
“We disagree about other things. My stepdad is super religious, and not the kind that makes you a better person. Mom’s gotten into it too. She seems happy, but part of her being happy and me being happy is knowing we can’t really be together or talk often.”
Jack hooked his arm across my front. “Sorry, Mara.”
“Meh. It’s kind of old news. I’m surprised she hasn’t called yet, now that she’ll know we got married. You ever talk to your parents?”
“My mom’s always trying to mend things,” Jack said, rinsing the conditioner out of my hair and clouding the bathwater. “But I guess I’m like you. I don’t want to deal with it all the time, so I just don’t.”
“Fair.”
Jack and I were quiet for a while, the bathwater starting to cool as we just enjoyed being together. I used my foot to turn the hot water back on, not wanting to get out. Once I turned it off, Jack spoke again.
“I know I’m not normal, but I just need you to be patient with me.”
I chuckled. “Bro, you’d better get some therapy.”
He groaned. “No, I don’t want to deal with it.”
“Hence the Nickelback,” I teased. “Nothing like some divorced dad rock to pick up the pieces.”
“If you weren’t already in pain, I’d pinch you,” he said.
“Oh, good boys don’t pinch, Jack.”
