“What happened to you?”
Jack walked in with the kids, a superstore bag under his arm, dried blood on the ripped knees of his pants, and paper towels on the heels of his hands.
“Fell in the parking lot. Not a big deal. Aspen had a great game,” he said, trying to change the subject. Not wanting to drill him in front of the kids, I went with it.
“Aspen, did you really? That’s awesome!”
“I scored, Mom!” Aspen said.
“Buddy, I’m so proud.” I bent to give him a hug. “How’d you do, Harper? Jace?”
“I only fell down once!” Jace said.
“Great!” Harper chirped. “And Daddy let us get Frosties.”
“Wow, what a treat, Daddy,” I said. “Why don’t you three go get ready for bed and I’ll be up to read and tuck you in?”
They took off to the upstairs and my focus turned back to Jack. I flipped his hand over and removed the paper towel, examining his wounds. “You just fell?”
Jack wouldn’t look at me. “Clumsy feet. Just tripped over myself.”
“And skidded your hands like this?” I asked, raising a brow. “There are pieces of pavement in here.”
Jack was quiet.
“We promised honesty, Jack.”
His lips pinched together and his voice was low. “Then you need to be honest with me about what we’re doing with sex. I love sex with you but I think we both know what we’re doing now is not what either of us needs.”
Again, a subject change, but I would hold up my honest end of the bargain. “I’m still . . . in my head about it. I like you, Jack, and I’m just being careful that you don’t hurt me.”
“I don’t want to hurt you,” he said, his eyes finally meeting mine. “But I think I need you to hurt me.”
“Hurt you?” I was 90% sure of what he was getting at, but I didn’t want to make the mistake of assuming.
“I feel . . . good when you tell me what to do. Make me hurt. It makes me feel more. And I think it helps you too. So I’m sad we’re not doing that when it’s good for both of us.”
I nodded, choosing my words carefully. He was being very vulnerable with me and I didn’t want to do something to make him shut down. “I do enjoy it. And I like seeing you thrive when I push you. It’s just hard to do that when the emotional part?—”
Jack sucked a shaky breath through his nose that cut me off. “I’m trying, Mara. I’ll keep trying. For now, this has to be enough.”
“For now, it is.” I reached for his wrist. “Thanks for telling me what you need.”
He gave his grimace smile. “Here, open the bag,” he said, turning to get it off the counter. “I got you some things.”
I opened the bag to find a Canon camera box, along with what looked like a tripod and some kind of strap. “Jack, you didn’t.”
“It’s important to you,” he said firmly. “This way we can take a picture when it works for us.”
I sealed him into a tight hug, fighting brimming tears. “Thank you. For listening. For hearing me.”
“See? We’re taking care of each other,” he joked.
I patted his back and pulled away. “We are.” I removed each item out of the bag, turning the strap over in my hands. When I saw the clip on it, I realized what it was.
A collar. A dog collar, but a collar nonetheless.
“Are we getting a dog?” I asked, my words slow and careful.
