Opening my texts, my last message chain with Roger was still at the top. I couldn’t bring myself to delete it even though it was like poking a bruise to look at it. I knew I’d made the right choice. I’d fallen prey to the oldest trick in the book.He says he’s going toleave her.
They never leave her.
You’re always the fallout. Always destined to play the fool.
I could text everyone I knew going to this wedding that I was in town and excited. That would push his message farther down in the chain. I sent a quick one to Kitty that we’d just landed.
Kitty
GAH! Waiting at baggage. Have a biscuit with your name on it
Got one for Rog too but he probably only likes healthy stuff ew
We were going to drive together to the wedding venue at the Greenbrier. I was genuinely happy for her and Guy. They’d been obsessed with each other since that one year he lived in Charleston.
But I wasn’t supposed to be alone. Roger was supposed to be there. He was supposed to be all mine for the weekend. He’d figured out an excuse with his wife. He promised she wouldn’t even really care if she did know, because he knew she was doing the same thing we were doing with someone else.
I couldn’t waste any more time being second best.
That makes me sound like a tough, independent woman. I wasn’t. I really believed he loved me, that we were going to get together. He just had to stay married a little longer. Then he’dgive her the papers and he’d be mine.
What a fucking fool I was.
What was I going to tell Kitty? I’d told her I met Roger through work, but not that we worked at the same firm. I also failed to mention that he was married. I figured Kitty would kill me. What kind of a fraud would it make me to be maid of honor in a wedding while up until two hours before, I was actively disrespecting the sanctity of marriage?
Why had I done it in the first place? Self-loathing and self-pity weighed heavy on me.
I walked slowly to delay catching up to Jessie and the boys, not fully ready to make small talk or answer questions about where my boyfriend was. Yes, I had ended things, but the wound was raw and fresh. It still hurt. Bad.
Was I even going to tell Kitty at all? This was her big weekend. I didn’t want to burden her with the truth. Definitely not the full truth.
I’d tell her when she got back from her honeymoon. I couldn’t make this weekend about me.
I stopped in the bathroom and splashed cold water on my face, using a makeup wipe to remove what I’d put on with him in mind. My best friend could deal with seeing me bare-faced. I practiced my smile in the mirror, working to make the expression reach my eyes. If I couldn’t put on the Markham Smile, Kitty would see straight through me. Green eyes, two dimples, and a smattering of freckles. My dad, my siblings, and I all had it. Almost like my mom had never even dipped into the gene pool and we all just spawned from my dad.
I held a deep breath thinking of my dad. He’d be at the wedding too, with his new wife Sandy. More people I’d have to explain Roger’s absence to. I pictured Dad and me sharing a dance. The challenge would be not falling apart upon sight of him. Satisfied with my convincing expression, I left the bathroom to meet my fate.
“BESTIE!” Kitty waited at the end of the walkway with her arms open, legs wide in an exaggerated squat like I was a toddler running at her. That got a genuine smile out of me, giving her what she wanted by running toward her and smashing us together in a hug. “Thank you so much for coming, Annie.”
“Wouldn’t miss it,” I said into her hair.
“Where’s Rog?”
I pulled back. “He had a work thing come up. He wishes he could make it. Sends his regrets.”
Kitty’s eyes narrowed. “Everything okay there?”
My airways constricted, but I pushed through. “Yeah, yeah, all good. Just, ya know, the firm.”
Kitty was ready to interrogate, but Guy interrupted. “Annie!”
I was wrapped up in his muscled, gangly arms and rocked from side to side. “Did you have a good flight?”
“Yeah. Quick, easy.”
Guy’s eyebrows went up. “Easy? Mikey said it was bumpy as hell.”
Jessie, her boyfriend “Mikey” or Ben, and the other hockey player joined us.
