After a moment of shocked rest and a torrent of kisses with him still buried inside me, we helped each other get put backtogether.
There was a knock at the door, followed by whoever it was trying the handle. I froze.
“Uh, yes?” I asked.
“It’s Dev. Why is your door locked?”
“I’m in a meeting,” I tried.
“Oh, cool. Just come see me when you’re done.”
“Yep!”
Nick had his hand over his mouth, stifling his laughter.
“It’s not funny,” I hissed.
“Oh, come on. He didn’t see anything!”
Guilt and shame washed over me, hating how irresponsible I’d been. “We were stupid to do this. This was reckless.”
Nick shook his head, taking my hand. “Annie, it’s okay to do things for yourself. You were beautiful just now. I’ll leave and let you get back to work.”
My hands balled into fists, a tide of regret washing over me. “You never should have come here.”
“Annie—”
“Nick, you need to go.”
“I’m going,” he said, shrugging his jacket on and stepping forward to hold my waist. “But no matter what happens, I hope you feel like we are worth the risk. Because I do. I’m not giving up on us, and I hope you won’t either.”
“There’s risk, and then there’s recklessness. This was reckless, Nick.”
Nick held the back of my head to bring my eyes to his. “You’re right. But didn’t you need it?”
“My needs aren’t important.” It just came flying out of my mouth, and I realized quickly that it was the thesis of my entire life. I’d put everyone first but me for almost all of my life.
Nick shook his head, gently holding my shoulders. “Annie, you are always worthy. Your needs will always be important.”
In a desperate effort to save my own PR front to the man whomost likely loved me, I tried to explain myself. “I need this job.”
His eyes softened and he rolled his lips. “I know, baby. I didn’t mean to disregard that. I was trying to take care of you. I felt you pulling away, and thought you needed the reminder to take care of yourself.”
I gave a feeble nod.
“Come over tonight? I can stop by your place to pick up some clothes for you.”
It was so much easier to keep my distance when he wasn’t standing in front of me. It was easier to push him away than to feel everything when I was in his glow. His reasonable, mostly sensible glow.
I pushed up on my toes to give him a quick kiss. “Okay.” I put my hand on the door handle, took a deep breath, and arranged my face into a bright smile. “I’ll see you for our meeting next week to finalize all of this.”
“Sounds good. I’ll email that contact info,” he said on his way out. And as he stepped into the hallway, Dev popped out of the men’s room.
Fuck.Why hadn’t it occurred to me that he might still be close by?
“Nick! Good to see you, man!” he cried. “Annie had you all locked up in there?”
Double fuck.
