“You want a picture?” I asked.
“Um, yeah, okay.”
I took one of Nick and the girl, then them with her dad.
“You can get in there, Annie,” her dad said to me.
“Oh no, I’m just a nobody.”
“Actually, sir, can you take a picture of me and my Annie? We never get a chance to take pictures together.”
“Of course!”
“Nick, my face is all butchered,” I objected, sensing that maybe this wouldn’t be safe for us to be photographed together in a public place.
“We can remember your first skate. A before and after,” he said, squeezing my side. “And you’re beautiful, blood and scabs and all.”
We posed for Nick’s camera, and Annie lifted her phone to take our picture. He crouched down to talk to her.
“Actually, Annie, I prefer to keep my private life private. If you don’t mind, this is just for us,” Nick said.
“Oh, I’m so sorry—” the poor girl looked mortified.
“No, no, it’s fine. My Annie’s just for me, though. People can be mean on the internet, and I don’t want people saying mean things about my girl.”
“We understand,” her dad said. “We’ll let you two get back to your dinner.”
“Come down to the ice before the game next Saturday. I’ll throw you guys a puck.”
Nick still had his arm around me as they walked away. I turned into him and gave him a quick kiss. “Thanks for sticking up for my privacy.”
He kissed me again. “It’s our privacy. And we deserve it.”
The way he had my back. The way he got it. The way he didn’t minimize my concerns. The way he was on my team, no questions asked.
How could I not fall for him?
We enjoyed our beers, reliving my fabulous fall and my apparent rawness at the lifeguard stand.
“I’m proud of you, Annie. I know you hate taking risks like that, and you just did it.”
“I hate them until I don’t,” I said, scooping a nacho from our shared plate. “It’s like my tattoo. So much of my life, I’ve had tobe buttoned up, tied down, not giving anything away, keeping it together. I got my tattoo when I was so frustrated with how heavy my life had become. I wanted to do something frivolous, something out of character for myself. I told no one. I just went, found a shop with an immediate opening, and got it done.”
I took a breath as I chewed, thinking how much of myself I wanted to share. No one really knew why I’d chosen my tattoo, except the artist. But I loved Nick even if I shouldn’t have, and I knew he’d hold it sacred like I did.
“There’s this mountain back home that you can get to from a park. It’s all cleared off on top because it’s the next mountain over from the airport. It’s got this meadow on top with all these beautiful wildflowers. When I was little, I liked to run up there under the planes, pretending that if I just ran a little faster, I could fly, too. Be free. So yeah, those are the wildflowers on my tattoo.”
I’d been looking at the table between us, and looked up to check Nick’s reaction. He took my hand on the table again, his eyes soft. “Annie, that’s beautiful.”
Tears clouded my eyes again. “You make me feel free like that, Nick.”
Nick swallowed, rolling his lips.
“You make me feel understood, and I’ve never had that before,” he said, tracing his finger over one of mine. We sat, feeling every beat of what pulsed between us.
He broke our gaze and hesitated, then went on. “I don’t think most people understand what it is to be where I am. Almost twenty-two, a professional athlete, pansexual, haven’t slept with a woman, but I’ve slept with a man. And then, I found you. And you just get it.”
“You found me,” I said softly, a chill going up my arms.
