Ben sat on the bed and put his hands over his eyes, leaning his elbows on his knees. “I know, Jessie.” He sounded some mixture of guilty and defeated.
“What the fuck is going on here?” I whisper screamed as I looked through my drawers for a clean shirt.
“I’m really sorry, Jessie. I forgot they were coming to visit. I’m really bad with scheduling stuff. I’m lucky the team tells me where to be all the time.”
I gave some sort of harrumph. “Also where are we even going? I don’t know what to wear.”
“I thought I’d help you with the Cole situation, but then Momand Lor saw and well, you are kind of an ideal girlfriend, so I just went with it. And we’re going to my favorite taco place. Casual.”
“You just went with it?!”
“Sorry, Sweet Cheeks, how else was I supposed to explain why I was passionately kissing my roommate? And you’re welcome, by the way. I think we pissed Cole off plenty.”
Tears flooded my eyes as I jammed on a band t-shirt to go with my ripped jeans. “I shouldn’t have kissed you. Now he’s really going to think I was cheating.”
“Who gives a fuck what he thinks? He actually cheated on you! He deserves to feel like shit because he is a piece of shit.”
“You knew?” I snapped, loud enough to make Mikey flinch and uncover his eyes to look at me. His mouth opened and closed, and he stammered, trying to find his words. “You fucking knew. This whole time. Is that what all of this has been about?”
“Jessie, honey, Sweet Cheeks,” he started. I glared at him. “I didn’t want you to feel worse than you already did. Either way it was over between you. Trust me, I hate that guy as much as you do. I just didn’t want you to have any more reason to doubt yourself.”
“So noble of you!” I hissed.
“Why are you mad at me? He was the one cheating on you!” Ben massaged his temples. “I wanted to help you live a happier life, Jessalyn. He hasn’t been taking care of you.”
“Because you seem to know so well how I sound when I orgasm? Christ, Benjamin.”
“Well, you certainly sounded different in my bed the other night!” he blurted out, then clapped a hand over his mouth.
Disdain ripped through me. How fucking dare he. I was beyond done with this man and his allegedly altruistic meddling.
“I don’t have to stay here for this,” I said finitely, opening my drawers and grabbing a duffel bag.
“Jessie, please, no.”
“Oh, you need me to stay so your mom can think you have agirlfriend?”
“You wanted to pay me for living here. This is one way you can do that.”
My jaw dropped as I shoved socks into my bag. “I am not for hire, Benjamin. My body is not for hire.”
“Jessie, you know that’s not what I meant. All of this is so out of hand. You know I just say shit sometimes. I don’t mean to.”
“Actually,” I said, gesticulating to him with a bra before slamming it into my bag, “I don’t know that. Because I hardly fucking know you, Ben. We’ve known each other for two weeks. But you think, you think, you think... you know everything about me.”
I was afraid I was going too far, but he went too far with me. My life was crumbling, not his.
“This is my life, Ben. It’s not some game. I just got dumped after years with someone. He’s been cheating on me. We’ve lived together in three different cities. And all you can focus on is that I make you look good in front of your mom and that you know how I sound when I come.”
“Honey, I never should have said that.”
I dabbed at the tears on my cheeks with the back of my hand and was filled with a new wave of rage. “But you thought it. Why not say it? Have anything else you want to tell me about my sex life, Ben?” I stalked toward where he sat on the bed, chucking the bag down. “You know my favorite position? You know just how I like it?”
Ben stood suddenly, our chests brushing again. His height and size humbled me in my tirade. He breathed heavily, looking down at me. Tension pulsed, and a shot of desire passed over me. The memory of our kiss thundered through my body, his lips a permanent impression on mine. Without him even touching me, I could feel him on me.
His eyes cut to my mouth, then back to my eyes. He had to be thinking the same. His demeanor softened. He lifted hishands, then started and stopped a few motions, like he couldn’t decide how to touch me. The tips of his fingers skated down my forearms, to my wrists. I trembled, the raw emotions of the last twenty minutes erupting. His fingers laced in mine, holding both of my hands.
“I don’t want to fight with you, Jessalyn. I’m really only trying to help. I think maybe I’m doing it wrong. But I care about you. I’m so sorry about all this. This has to be so hard.”
