His thumb passed over the inside of my wrist, and my stomach clenched. “I’m too used to letting it all out in locker rooms. I’ll do better.”
I flicked my eyebrows up. “At least a towel would help.”
The corner of his lips hooked upward. “You gonna measure me?”
My cheeks boiled anew thinking of that monstrous thing I’d just seen bouncing between his legs. Mikey gave a soft, raspy laugh and let go of me. “For the suit, Jess. Get your mind out of the gutter.”
My jaw flapped and I cleared my throat. “Yes. I need to get your measurements so I can make a drawing. Might help to see what your favorite suits look like, too.”
“You got it, hon.”
He took a step back and stood with his arms extended. I followed, wrapping the measuring tape around his bare pecs. I tried to ignore the way the sinew of his muscles was almost carved, the kind of figure you’d see in a textbook. I pulled my phone out of my back pocket and marked down the number. I slipped the tape to his waist, sliding a finger between his skin and the tape for a little breathing room.
His breath coated my shoulder where he dipped his head to watch me. The hairs on the back of my neck rose and I fought a shiver. If he had put a hand on me right then, I would have thrown it all away. Been ready to beg him to throw me on the bed and have his way with me. When did I become such a perv? I was taking a non-sexual situation and making it sexual. It wasjust taking measurements! I had to gain control of the situation, for my own sake.
“Stand up straight, please. Do you gain or lose a lot during the season?”
“Usually my butt gets a little smaller over the summer, but gets big once I’m skating more again. It’s probably at its biggest about now. And I bloat when my stomach’s pissed off or I forget Lactaid.”
I puffed out my bottom lip. “That sucks.”
“It’s life. People have bigger problems.”
His hip measurement was indeed much larger than the actors I worked with, but I never comment on peoples’ bodies. We all have enough to deal with without comparison. I put the tape off-center so I wouldn’t have to make direct contact with an area of his body that would haunt me for the rest of my days. I was mortified that I’d seen him naked. It was just bad timing and not a big deal, but... ugh.
I knelt in front of him to get his inseam and outseam. These were measurements I took every day. No bother for me, right? We were silent. I picked up my phone to punch in the final measurements, staying on the floor. When I glanced up, Ben looked down at me with his hand out to help me up. My breathing quickened as I stood, chest to chest with him for the second time that night. We stared, locked in an uncomfortable battle of wills.
His eyes flicked over every part of my face. “I’ll show you the suits.”
* * *
My teeth were brushed. I’d taken my evening shower and done my hair so it would be easy to style in the morning. I’d laid out my clothes. It was just a matter of consciously getting in Ben’s bed. The other two times I’d ended up there, I’d gotten there by him carrying me in while I was asleep.
I didn’t know how to feel about that.
I stood by his bed, my book and blankie in hand. Yes, I was twenty-five and still carrying my childhood blanket. I have no shame about it. That thing is the most comfortable scrap of fabric that exists on this planet, and was my companion through countless sleepless nights.
“You don’t have to go to bed when I do, Ben,” I said. “I’m a shitty sleeper.”
“Yeah, well, maybe I can help.”
I closed my eyes, searching for patience on the inside of my eyelids. “Ben, I appreciate everything you’re doing for me, but please don’t smother me. Go to bed when you normally would.”
“Well, if I want to drive you to work tomorrow, I should go to bed when you do,” he said.
I sighed, putting my head into my hands. “I can drive myself. As long as I sleep half-decently tonight, I should be fine.”
He pressed his lips together. “What if you have a nightmare?”
“Apologies in advance if I do, but it’s better if you don’t wake me up, okay? Just ignore it if you can.”
Ben’s eyes rounded and he seemed upset. “It’s so hard to see you like that.”
I pulled back the sheets and got in, draping my blankie around my neck and sliding on my glasses. “Sorry about that. Two more days, and then I’ll be in my own room, right? And if you need me to move out, I’ll start looking. You’ve already done too much.”
“I want you to stay,” Ben said. He said it so firmly. Resolutely. No questions asked. He wanted me to live with him. “Nice glasses.”
“Thanks?”
