“Stop being nice to me!” she shouted. “I’m not pitiful! I’m not your... your child!”
“You’re right. You’re not. But I want you comfortable here so you don’t rush out.”
Her chest was flushed red. “So what’s the apology? That it’s embarrassing that I’m a grown woman who’s relying on the charity of her rich athlete roommate?”
“No,” I said over my shoulder as I stirred the sautéed vegetables. I tapped the spoon on the edge of the pan. “Apparently the bed has to, like, off gas or something? Like they said it stinks and you have to let the smell come out for a few days.”
A few emotions passed over Jess’s face. The final one she settled on was anger. “So let me guess, we have to keep sharing a bed.”
I grimaced. “Hence the apology dinner.”
“Ben, I just needed to duct tape the air mattress. Stop fucking meddling!”
“Jess, come on. I’m trying to help.”
She closed her eyes and took a deep breath into her hands. “I didn’t ask for your help. I don’t want an apology dinner. I don’t want to share a bed. I need to find my own place.”
I felt like I’d been slammed against the boards. Somehow, this hurt worse than physical pain. I was trying, and she flipped it back in my face. I ground my molars as I turned off the stove. “Why?”
“I can’t rely on you for everything, Ben.”
“Why not?”
“I just walked out of a four-year relationship and right into, where am I, my neighbor’s apartment? I met him a couple of weeks ago, I sleep in his bed, he drives me to work, pays for my ride home, buys me furniture, cooks me dinner, and doesn’t let me pay rent. Is that an accurate assessment of where we are?” she raged.
“I don’t see why it’s a problem, Jessalyn,” I said carefully, trying not to let my own temper show in my voice. “Seems a ‘thank you’ would be in order.”
She stormed toward the front door. “Is that what you’re doing it for? The applause? What the fuck is this even about, Ben?”
I couldn’t exactly tell her that I knew Cole was a lying cheater. She might tear my skin off and make a skin suit out of me for being the messenger. I couldn’t tell her that I was a selfish bastard who wanted her instead. I had to keep playing the friend. I tried distracting her.
“Can you just eat? I feel like you need to eat,” I said.
“I won’t eat until you tell me what the fuck you’re doing and why! This is so fucking bizarre! I’ve lost my fucking mind for even being here. I should just go home.” Jessie paced by the front door, chewing her thumbnail. It looked like she might bolt at any moment.
“Don’t go home,” I said, staring at the floor between us with my arms crossed. I dug my fingernails into my forearms. Nerves passed through me, making me shake slightly.
“Why. Not.” She stalked toward me, eyes wild. In that moment, I realized just how much I didn’t know her. She could be a murderer herself and I’d have no clue. I hadn’t even googled her. I only knew her last name because I asked her when we talked onour balconies.
“I’m just trying to be nice,” I said, but my words were limp.
“Nope. That’s not it. Are you trying to fuck me?”
“Jesus, Jessie—”
“Well, what then?” she seethed, now standing right in front of me, all five foot whatever of her somehow seeming enormous in her rage.
I couldn’t tell her the full truth. She couldn’t handle it in her present state. I went with the easy out.
“I feel like I broke up your relationship!” I burst out. “I feel like it’s my fault that you left him, and I have to do something about it.”
Jessie’s face reddened, then she curled her lips. “Don’t flatter yourself, Mikey. You think you can just press your giant cock against me and sex-face me against your door, and that’ll make me walk out on my partner of four fucking years? I may have walked out but he called it over anyway.”
She said my cock was giant, thought the teenager who ruled half my brain. Not the time, teenager.
“No.” I said it low, quietly, with conviction. She’d been heaving a breath like she was ready to lob more insults at me. The breath hissed out of her like a pin in a balloon as she waited for me to say more. Her eyes darted quickly between mine. “I don’t think you leftforme. I think you left because of what I said. I think you were perfectly happy pretending with him until I pointed out the obvious. And I feel like an asshole for pointing out the obvious and taking away your bliss.”
She rubbed her lips together, then gnawed on the bottom one. Her gaze traveled up and down the horizontal stripes on my shirt.
