The coffee pot beeped as the final drops gurgled into the carafe, and I poured us each a cup. I started to put cream in Cole’s cup.
“I just like it black now,” he said miserably.
“Oh? When did that start?”
“I started buying us better coffee. It doesn’t need cream. You didn’t even notice.”
“Cole, that’s not fair. I did notice. I just think all coffee needs cream. Sorry, I usually drink coffee at 4:30 in the morning. I’m not exactly feeling philosophical about coffee at that hour.”
We fell quiet as we sipped from our mugs. His was from the one time we took his niece to Disneyland. Mine was an ode to thebiscuits from my favorite biscuit shop back home.
Cole ran a hand through his hair, his agitation building again. “That jock try to touch you?”
I focused on keeping my breathing even and remaining calm. I didn’t want to give anything away to Cole, especially not Mikey’s little speech against his front door that left me soaking wet. I woke up in Mikey’s arms. He definitely touched me when I had my nightmare. And sang me back to sleep. But it wasn’t sexual. He was just sweet. If anything, I was the accidental creep.
“No. Everything was fine. It was sleeping. That’s it,” I said. “If anything, I should thank him. I was rude when I left.”
Cole rolled his eyes. “Don’t think he’s not trying to hit on you, Jess. You’re so naïve sometimes.”
“Wow, you’re right. It would be my first time dealing with the advances of men. I have no idea what that’s like.”
I moved to our bedroom to put on some clothes for a walk. I needed out of our apartment. Cole followed me.
“Where are you going?”
“For a walk.”
“So you’re just running off? We have more to discuss.”
I turned to him, flailing my hands. “What else is there to say? You went for a run this morning when you thought I was a missing person. You’ve decided I’m cheating on you, so therefore, I must be. Isn’t that the long and short of it?”
“Don’t get like this,” he warned.
“Then say whatever it is you think I need to hear.”
“Fine. It’s hard for me to trust you right now. You come out of nowhere with this crazy sex stuff and sleeping in beds with other men. And you expect me to be fine with it. How are you so sure he didn’t take advantage of you, Jessie?”
I shoved my shirt over my head and stomped toward him. “Even if he had, how would that bemyfault? Should I have not worn that dress, either? Jesus, Cole. I’m out of here.”
“Jessie, you know I wouldn’t blame you if he did!” Cole tried.
“Yeah, then why are you?” I had the door handle in my hand. “And by the way, if wanting you to want me or wishing you cared about my pleasure enough to get me off first is ‘crazy sex stuff,’ then I guess I’ve just been a freak all along.”
I slammed the door behind me on my way out.
Chapter8
Jessie
The air was tight in our apartment. I slid on my earrings and adjusted my wrap dress to cover my boobs better. Cole sat on the bed, pulling his socks on.
“Sorry I can’t come. It was really last minute, though, and you know I’ve had this thing with the guys,” he said.
I met his eyes in the vanity mirror. “It’s fine. I can go stag.”
“Come here, baby.” Cole grabbed my hand, looking up at me with his big blue eyes shining. “You still mad at me?”
“I don’t know. Do you not trust me?”
