“Great. Now you get to watch me freeze my ass off.”
“I’ll keep knitting, thanks.”
It’s no lie. I dipped a toe in the frigid water. Not ice bath cold, but ball-shriveling cold. An involuntary yelp escaped me when my privates hit the water. Jessie stifled a laugh. To combat the cold,I submerged myself completely, the noise in my head silencing. I realized how much my shoulder pain was creating a background din of chaos. When I surfaced, I let out a loud, exhilarated yell, flipping my wet hair back.
“Come on in, Jessalyn! The water’s fine!”
“I’ll take your word for it,” she said on a laugh. “You live loud, don’t you?”
“You of all people should know I do.” I shuffled around the shallow end, the pain in my shoulder more isolated thanks to the cold. Silence fell between us. Jessie pressed play on her podcast and got back into her knitting. The hosts graphically detailed one of the almost-murders.
“Jesus, Jessalyn. This relaxes you?”
She smirked. “I’m not the only one. These are popular for a reason.”
“I don’t see why. It’s horrifying.”
“It’s kind of like, if I know the absolute worst thing that could happen to me, anything else doesn’t seem so bad,” she explained.
“That’s grim.”
“I think it’s strangely optimistic. Like well, at least I’m not being murdered.”
I walked to the edge of the pool, resting my elbows on the concrete. “Jessie, you deserve more than just not being murdered. Life’s more than avoiding the worst-case scenario.”
Her face went stony as she considered what I said. Her eyes looked sad. “Isn’t that what surviving is about, though?”
“I don’t want to just survive. I want to live. Big. Love hard. Laugh often. All that shit that’s on coffee mugs.”
Her eyebrows went up. “Benjamin Michael Jockey, I never pegged you for a softie. You’re a live laugh love girlie!”
I posed with a dainty simper. “More than a pretty face.”
“I’m serious. You’re cocky, but underneath it, you’re hiding this... I don’t know what to call it.”
“Humanity?”
She gave me a wry smile. “Yeah. Humanity.”
“Well, someone recently told me I might be emotionally unavailable. I’m pushing myself out of my comfort zone.”
“Proud of you, Jockey.” She studied me with curious eyes. I soaked up the attention.
From a woman who was already taken. By some guy who didn’t know how good he had it. By a guy who was betraying her trust.
Jessalyn was sweet, insightful, pensive, and funny. Or that’s how she was when she wasn’t mad at me. Not to mention those young Stevie Nicks looks and those boobs I couldn’t stop thinking about in my face.
But I was a piece of shit who didn’t deserve her any more than her cheating boyfriend did.
“Hey, you were right about something,” she said with a mischievous look.
My heart took off. Was she flirting back with me? This was a dream.“What’s that?”
“I do actually know your friend from West Virginia.”
“HA! I knew it!”
“But in fairness, I don’t know her from home. We work on the same show here. We talked about you while I was getting her measurements for something.”
