And I can’t believe he missed what I was actually suggesting. I can hardly believe it myself. Anything to do with sex and I’d always be the first to leave the conversation. But all day today, as I briefed Rogue and the others on what happened with the priest, and later as I answered about a million questions from them, I kept thinking of making love to Nico again. Kept remembering the bliss that was our time on the beach this morning.
I thought Zane would get there before me and fill them in, but he’s apparently handling some personal business up north in Monterey Bay, so I had to go over everything over and over. Instead of spending the day with Nico like I really wanted to. Iwish he’d told me what it was, I’d gladly had gone there with him to have his back. The way he had mine with the priest.
But that would pull me away from Nico. Who doesn’t seem to be as interested in me as he’s been for the past few months. But I won’t believe that until I actually see it.
“Oh, come on, what’s going on with you?” I ask, maybe too sharply, maybe too needily. “You’ve been trying to get me into bed for months. Now here I am practically throwing myself at you and you?—”
He silences me with a kiss, deep and slow, like a drink of cool water, like an elixir, strong enough to erase all aches and pains. Pretty soon, I feel like I’m floating on the rippling water of the ocean before us, safe, content, home.
“I want you even more than I ever have,” he says as we take a little break. “And as long as I breathe, I’ll want you even more every day. Never doubt that.”
I kiss him this time, softly, sweetly, just on the lips. “Nothing could make me doubt it. Not really.”
He looks at me with a cocked eyebrow and I do deserve that, given the neediness in my voice before.
“I already want you more and more with each minute that passes,” I tell him. “So come on, let’s go find a nice bed.”
He chuckles, but his eyes are still full of doubt.
“What will I do when you tire of me?”
I could be asking the same thing. Actually, of the two of us, I’m the only one who has any grounds to be asking it. He’s mister perfect, one of the most eligible rich bachelors in LA, he has his pick of women wherever he goes. And here he is, afraid I’ll dump him. It makes no sense. But he’s not just kidding about that. He’s serious. I can read that clearly from his eyes, just as I can read everything else he’s thinking there.
“That will never happen,” I assure him, running my hand down the side of his face then cupping his cheek when he triesto look away. “Never. You saved my life. Not just when you kept pressure on my wound to keep me from bleeding out a few months ago. You’ve done it every day since. Showing me I was someone worth loving, worth waiting for, worth putting up with all the ways I tried to chase you away. And that’s before you stood by me and supported me while I faced my worst nightmare in the form of the priest.”
He chuckles again and lays his hand over mine on his cheek. “You did try very hard to chase me away, no two ways about that.”
“I’m sorry,” I say. “But I’m so glad I didn’t succeed. Because I would’ve missed out on all the sweetness and I’d never have gotten to know the real you, the stand-up, dependable, kind man that you are, if I had managed to chase you away.”
He winces a little, but mostly he just doesn’t seem to believe what I’m telling him.
“I mean it, Nico,” I say and kiss him again, because maybe then he’ll know just how true my words are.
“I’m sorry I’ve been a little distant tonight,” he says once we break apart. “I got some news this afternoon and I’m not sure I reacted in the best way. Definitely didn’t react like a kind, stand-up sort of man.”
“What kind of news?” I ask.
“My father wants me to help him and my brothers come back to the States,” he says. “He wants me to put in a good word, make sure they don’t get killed for taking the wrong side in the war. And I said no. But maybe that was a mistake. A kind man wouldn’t do something like that to his family.”
“You mean the family who tried to say you weren’t one of them?” I say indignantly.
He shrugs. “Forgive and forget and all that. They are my blood. And you know how it is for us, family is everything.”
I shake my head, can’t believe that the strong man I’ve come to know, come to fall in love with, the one who always knows the right thing to do, should be speaking like this now.
“Didn’t you try to save them before, when the war in New York started?” I ask.
He nods.
“And didn’t they throw it back in your face and disown you on top of it?”
He nods again.
“So what do you think you owe them? The way I see it, you saw what was coming in New York and you got in on the winning side before it was too late. You also tried to make room for them there. But they refused your help. They pushed you away. I don’t think you owe them anything. Especially not your peace of mind.”
He’s looking at me like he’s seeing me for the first time. And the admiration, love and gratitude in his eyes are almost too much—they’re making my eyes mist a little.
“My family didn’t believe me about Gael,” I add. “It’s not the same as what you went through, but I know the feeling of being betrayed by the ones who should protect you and have your back. In the end, I had to handle my own problem by myself, and with your help. So I say fuck them. They don’t deserve your pity. And they certainly don’t get to ruin any part of this perfect night of ours.”
