“What I meant to say was that I think I’m falling in love with you too,” I tell him. “Not just OK. I didn’t mean to say just that.”
The smile he gives me lights up the night as though the sun rose early, makes even the bloodied and battered body of a dead priest in the kitchen behind us less terrible. And I hope my smile does the same for him.
It’s so easy to smile at him now. Because the darkest, saddest most wounded part of me seems to have died with Gael. It’s just gone, like he’s gone.
Nico takes my hand and together we walk across the garden and into the night.
I probably shouldn’t feel as light and carefree as I do, but maybe the priest’s death truly did give me life. And that’s justice too.
34
Nico
I held out as long as I could. Couldn’t exactly scoop her into my arms and kiss her while standing a few feet from a battered and bloodied dead priest. Even I have enough restraint for that.
But as soon as we reach my car and her bike, I make up for it. And the moment out lips touch, I swear I can hear angels singing all around us, their heavenly light illuminating the dark, moonless night.
She tastes like that angel song too, that’s the only way to describe it. Whole decades seem to pass as I hold her and she holds me, our lips and tongues doing their dance.
But she pulls away much too soon for my liking.
“We should head back to LA,” she says hoarsely.
“Yeah, we should go home,” I echo.
I have half a mind to climb on the back of her bike and let her take me there, but that would mean leaving my car here and no one would thank me for that.
So I settle for following her bike down the dark road and onto the highway. After a while, even the sharp pain of being away from her when I need her close fades to a dull ache. We settleinto a rhythm as her bike seems to pull me forward, into what I hope is our forever—one where I won’t ever have to ache for her again. Where we’ll never be parted again. Where my life will finally make sense.
It’s a beautiful dream, a heavenly thought and it carries me through the night.
Dawn is breaking as she pulls to the side of an empty country road just outside of LA. Beyond the cliffs, the ocean is starting to sparkle in the first rays of the sun.
I park beside her bike and follow her to the edge of the cliff, fearing the dream might be over, and praying it isn’t.
Is she about to tell me it’s over? Just as it’s about to begin? What do I do with that?
She turns to me as I reach her, a look of peace on her face like I’ve never seen there before.
She places her hands on the sides of my waist and looks up at me, a serene smile stretching across her face, more beautiful than the rising sun.
“I’m ready,” she says.
“For what?” I ask like an idiot and she just smiles wider.
“I want you to make love to me.”
Something breaks off inside me—the last of the heaviness, fear and doubt I’ve been carrying falling away, I think.
I look around then smile at her, hoping it’s as bright as I feel. “Here? I had somewhere more luxurious in mind for our first time. Maybe a five-star hotel room. Or a villa somewhere. Maybe even a castle.”
She shakes her head and gives me a quick peck on the lips. Then she points at the beach below us.
“Right down there will be just perfect,” she says. “Our own little piece of heaven on earth. Bathed in the morning sun.”
“Perfect, huh?” I says and kiss her because I can’t stop myself. “Let’s do it then.”
She takes my hand and leads me down a steep path in the cliff face to the beach. It’s hard going because of the slippery terrain. But I’d follow her through the gates of hell if she wanted me to. It won’t come to that. In fact, it’s be the opposite.
