I’ve actually not heard that anywhere and I wonder if she has, but I’m perfectly willing to continue with the lie. I’m perfectly willing to continue with anything that will finally let me tastethose smooth, full lips of hers. And see what all the leather and jeans she always wears is hiding. My cock can’t take much more anticipation. And I’m starting to think tonight might finally beournight.
11
Alice
I don’t know why it’s so easy for me to say yes to Nico. Maybe it’s his easy-going manner and the fountain of excitement over everything that never stops gushing out of him. That’s exactly the opposite to how I am. Or maybe it’s the fact that I can relax around him like I can’t with anyone else in my life.
All my closest friends are people I’ve known my whole life, from kindergarten onwards. People I’ve spent practically all day, every day with for the past fifteen years or more since we started the MC together. They know me inside and out. They know everything about me.
But Nico… he knows next to nothing about me. But he also knows all the worst parts. And he still looks at me like I’m the only person he wants to be with.
Especially as I came out of my room in our fancy hotel suite wearing the silver dress he picked for me. And heels. Black stilettos with a skull made of silver studs on the back of the heel that he somehow convinced me I need to get to go with the dress. And I somehow thought it was a perfect idea too. But I never wear heels and my feet are already starting to ache.
But even that pain fades under his hot gaze as I stand before him. That gaze is pure fire and he’s actually breathless. And speechless. And if it’s just an act, then he’s a damn good actor. Oscar-worthy.
“Well, what do you think?” I ask. Even though I never fish for compliments. Especially not from men.
“Stunning,” he says breathlessly. “You’re absolutely gorgeous.”
He’s looking at me like he wants to rip the dress off me. And it does make me nervous. It does make me a little afraid. But not like it would with any other guy. And I like this whole scene and all the rest more than I ever thought I could.
I’ve unbraided my hair and it’s hanging down to the middle of my back in large waves, perfectly complementing the scooped neckline of the dress. I adjust my hair a little while looking at myself in the wraparound windows of the suite. The lights of San Diego are twinkling all around and as much as I argued against him booking us into this hotel, I’m glad he convinced me otherwise. I’m truly not Alice right now. And I’m not quite Bianca either. I like it. Whatever that means.
He clears his throat. “All right, dinner.”
He walks over and offers me his arm, which I take automatically. And I’m glad I did because it is much easier to walk in these heels if I’m leaning on him. I never desired to lean on any man, this is as much touching I can actually comfortably tolerate, and a part of me is wondering if maybe I could tolerate a little more with him. But a very quiet part. And it mostly goes silent by the time we reach the elevator and I release his arm.
I don’t take it again once we’re outside. I don’t want him to get the wrong idea. Or I’m enjoying his closeness just a little too much for comfort. Whichever of those two things is true. It doesn’t actually matter.
Because nothing more than this will happen between us. It can’t. I was ruined a long time ago by a man I trusted. And I certainly don’t trust Nico to be to one to undo that damage. Others have tried in the past. Men much more wholesome and kinder than he is. But we’ve always come to the same conclusion.
I am too broken to fix.
I can’t trust a man enough to give myself to him completely.
And I don’t want to.
That way lies too much pain. Too many nightmares.
And I am happy just the way I am. I’ll be happier still when Gael is in jail, punished for what he did to me.
But it won’t change who I am. Who he made of me.
A broken woman held together by sheer strength, toughness and a devotion to helping victims find their voice and justice.
And that is enough.
Nico will probably be disappointed when I tell him that we’re returning to our shabby motel rooms after dinner.
But I make that decision as he holds open the door to one of the fanciest restaurants I’ve ever seen. It’s full of chandeliers that sparkle like diamonds and well-dressed people enjoying their dates. It looks like something out of a modern-day fairytale. But it’s not the fairytale for me. And it never will be.
The sooner we’re done getting Gael arrested, the better. Then he can go back to his models and aspiring actresses in LA who would appreciate this kind of princess treatment much more than I can.
And I can go back to being Sarge Alice—tough and strong—living only to bring justice to those failed by everyone else.
12
Nico
